One From The Training Ground

Training Ground Reopens

2008-04-15T21:12:00.001+01:00

After a rather longer than expected break from the keyboard, I'm finally back from skiing and a whole host of other events in what's been a bit of a frenetic month.

If it's not stating the completely obvious, there's one thing that's hit me since I've been back – our transition from a side with a mathematical hope of automatic promotion to one now praying for nothing short of a miracle for a play-off place.

When I left home for the peaceful retreat of the Alps we were looking to cement an extended season by picking up at least one win against Ipswich or West Brom. However, the reality is that we've gifted 3 of our promotion rivals with an unforgivable tally of 7 points in the last few games.

The win against Plymouth the other week could have started a revival of our play-off hopes, but if we're to be honest with ourselves our season was practically dead and buried when Wolves put in that decisive third goal at The Valley in injury time.

Our only hope in the run-in was 12 points from 4 games and to hope that Palace and Wolves slipped up, but the poor show against lowly Southampton on Saturday merely underlined what a disappointment this season has now become.

The south coast side should have been there for the taking, and in fairness never really looked like posing a big threat on the Charlton goal. However, a midfield clearly lacking creativity simply couldn't find a way of finding the opportunities they so desperately needed.

Only Pardew can explain the reasoning for playing both Holland and Semedo, who are far too similar and lack a killer pass or shot. The decision to bring on Gray rather than Varney was also a puzzling one – despite Gray scoring, the pace of Varney would have put far more pressure on a Saints defence bereft of pace and more than happy to cope with the ball in the air.

At the time of writing West Brom have just taken the lead at Moleneux, but it's all too late now. The maximum tally for us is now 70 points, and unless Palace only win once and Ipswich and Wolves also slip up, it's simply not enough.

I'll still be at Loftus Road on Saturday – the games may not have finished yet, but sadly it'll take more than a binding performance in front of the Sellotape End to repair our tattered season.

Training Ground Off-Piste

2008-03-14T11:00:00.001Z

I'll be heading to the French Alps by the time the players have come off the field at Portman Road on Saturday, so in my absence it's time for some reflection and insight for the coming week.

Firstly, the result against Burnley was obviously a disappointment, but promising by virtue of the fact that there did at least seem to be some fight left in the team. This will be invaluable for the Ipswich game, and perhaps this was a good time for 2 games away from The Valley.

Without the boo-boys on their backs, the players have often come up with some of the more gritty performances, and ones which will be much needed if we are to confirm a playoff place. If we can get a point tomorrow, I think the fans will be on-side come the visit of West Brom. We've always had a good atmosphere on the big matches at home, it mainly seems the frustration ebbs when we play the teams people feel we 'should beat'.

If we've learnt anything about this division so far, it's the clear fact that it was never going to be a cake-walk. I think it's fair to say we have one of the most technically gifted squad in the league, but that counts for nothing when you have teams that get stuck in and fight for points.

Part of our problem recently seems that we seem to be lacking a focal point for creativity. Reid was criticised for dictating the play, but that input right now appears to be sorely missed. That's no discredit to Matt Holland who's been fantastic as captain, but right now we seem like we're turning into a team of individuals rather than a team around a play-maker in Reid.

The team seems under pressure to deliver creativity from every man, whereas in reality this isn't necessary. The key components are a defender who is comfortable on the ball, a midfielder who can play a telling pass, and at least one winger who can take a man on and cross. Oh, and someone to poke the ball in the net.

Recently we've seen rampaging runs all over the place with no real end product - poor crosses, balls given away easily, players out of position – it's unnecessary. Keep it simple, keep the play flowing through a few key players, and take the pressure off the rest of the squad.

Sometimes it's all about keeping things simple, and based on his performances since the new year, Paddy McCarthy is the ideal example. He's not flash, he's not quick, but he is solid, tidy, and has been one of our most dependable players. If only we could get Bougherra back alongside him to provide the distribution, that would steady the productivity of the defence.

It doesn't need me to tell you how important this coming 7 days will be in defining our season, and I hope that when I get back we're still in a strong position. If results go against us we could be tenth after the West Brom game, which would leave us with a mountain to climb.

Personally, I find more fun in skiing down the things – let's hope the team can avoid the uphill battle.

Proceed With Caution

2008-03-10T23:24:00.003Z

Another day, another match – for all those in tier one complaining about too many matches, it hits home just how many more games there are in the Championship.

I've got to the stage where I'm losing track of matches – in the Prem I hardly missed one. Once a week, regular as clockwork. It's getting so thick and fast in this division that I'm starting to forget we're even playing – last week I forgot my season ticket the day of the Bristol City game. It's nothing to do with the opposition either, as I've genuinely enjoyed this season more than our paint-dry Premier days.

Ironically, the two home games I've missed since the turn of the year were quite apt, as it appears the players didn't either. Colchester and Preston are my no-shows, and my skiing trip next week means I'll be missing out on the West Brom match as well.

It's all a bit frustrating really – the next 3 games are likely to tell us if we'll cruise the run in to the playoff places, or be scrapping for dear life in the last few games to stumble over the line.

Any match is important now, but it's a case of three 6-pointers in the coming fortnight. Burnley, Ipswich and West Brom are all teams aiming for the playoffs or more, and wins in these matches have the obvious effect of stopping the other teams scoring whilst you leapfrog closer to safety in the process.

So, in reflection, perhaps losing to the lower clubs hasn't been as disastrous as it could have been. In fact, we've only lost twice to top-half opposition since December, compared to beating four.

We do have an annoying tendency to play to the level of the opposition, but in the face of our forthcoming opponents, this may not be such a bad thing. Burnley are on a similar run to us and only 4 points behind, Ipswich are fantastic at home this season, and we all know about West Brom.

If we can sneak 5 points from these 3 matches, we'll have done well. The old adage of one win being better than 3 draws doesn't hold true here – if we can stand our ground against the teams around us, we've a good chance of cementing our place.

I'm in no-way advocating playing for 0-0 draws in these games, but I do advocate a more cautious, patient approach. Losing all 3 games is simply unthinkable, and would effectively kill our playoff hopes.

As ever, only time will tell – come 10 o'clock tomorrow night, the playoff picture could be a lot clearer.

Writing Blind

2008-03-08T19:00:00.001Z

I'm taking a slightly unorthodox to today's match report – I'm currently sitting on a train to Manchester for my mate's 30th birthday and have absolutely no idea what's happening on the pitch against struggling Preston.

So, taking the spirit of all good card games, I'm taking a ballsy approach today – I'm writing this one 'blind'. I'll be at my mate's flat to post this later, and only at that point will I check the score to see how wildly inaccurate or smugly correct I've managed to judge it.

Onto the starting lineup then. Weaver as ever is a shoe-in between the sticks, and Pards will opt for the same back-four of Youga, McCarthy, Sodje and Halford. Its a return to 4-4-2 after Tuesday's draw, with an eye for pace up front.

Holland and Zhi continued their central pairing, with Ambrose and Scot Sinclair on the flanks. The forward threat came from Varney and new loan signing Leroy Lita, who wnet straight into the starting lineup on his Valley debut.

Charlton showed their attacking intent from the off – searching passes from Ambrose and Zhi found the forward pair in good attacking areas, but the lack of killer instinct shown in previous games was apparent as good chances went begging.

Preston played the classic away game, sitting back in their half in the hope of picking up a point. This frustrated the efforts of Charlton for much of the first-half, but things changed in the 35th minute.

A clever pass from Zhi found Sinclair in space on the wing, who needed no encouragement to run at the Preston defence. A burst of pace found the space to put in a curling cross, which was met emphatically by Varney at the far post to hit home for the opener.

The obvious relief for the home fans was blighted by memories of the last few home performances, but Charlton continued to press. The away side showed little in the way of attacking endeavour, but for all the Addicks' dominance, the closest they came to a second was a dipping effort from Ambrose that went just wide.

The second half threatened to go in an all too familiar fashion, as Preston came out looking a different side. The formation stayed the same, but there was more intent to win possession, and the long-balls were making the home defence look decidedly shaky.

One period of sustained pressure presented Preston with 3 corners in succession, forcing one excellent reaction save from Weaver in the resulting scramble.

Defence soon turned into attack, and a long throw from Weaver found Ambrose on the half-way line. A clever turn from the midfielder and a neat pass to Varney found the striker through on goal with only a defender and keeper to beat. Varney's shot was only parried by the keeper, and the ball kindly rolled into the path of Lita who made no mistake in opening his account at The Valley.

This effectively killed off the game, and with less than 25 minutes remaining Pardew reshuffled his pack. Lita came off for Semedo to shore up the midfield, which help stifle the resurgence of the away team. Preston had a good shout for a penalty when the ball appeared to hit Sodje's arm, but no decision was given.

Pardew introduced Thomas for Sinclair who had a reasonable game on his full debut, but was guilty of giving the ball away on occasion.

With the game petering away into a midfield battle, Iwelumo was brought on for Varney to help hold up the game and kill some time. The big striker played an important defensive role in the final minutes, twice heading the ball away from corners as Preston desperately tried to find a late entry back into the match.

The final whistle gave some much needed comfort to the home crowd, and helps to cement the case for a playoff place.

Back to the real world – it's five to four, I've just gone through Wolverhampton, and many of you reading this would have been preparing for the second half at this moment.

If the reality was anything like this report, perhaps I should stay on the trains during Saturday afternoons...

EDIT - Oh dear, not the best of days in the real world was it? 1-2, and we're in trouble...

A Point Gained – Charlton 1, Bristol City 1

2008-03-05T13:23:00.011Z

Charlton shared the spoils with Bristol City last night, but as the end of the season approaches, the home side may come to regret their nagging inability to hold a lead.

Although not as disappointing as the Watford result, the game followed a similar pattern. The Addicks, sporting a 4-5-1 formation, hassled the table-toppers relentlessly for the first 45 minutes in what was initially a successful bid to curtail their passing game.

Things started well, Ambrose coolly slotting home on 8 minutes after some great linkup play between Zheng Zhi and Kelly Youga. City looked shocked to be behind so soon, and Charlton kept up what was a frenetic pace at times.

The forward players were showing clear commitment and intent, and continually pressured the City back-line into making mistakes. Zhi was a constant threat with Ambrose in midfield, and the defence were rarely troubled.

One disappointment in the first half was the failure to capitalise on an injury to Adebola. The City striker was off the field for 10 minutes for treatment to a head wound, but there was no apparent direction or desire from Alan Pardew to press home the one-man advantage. At 1-0 up this would have been an ideal point to cement a victory, but it will join the other “what-ifs” of this season.

City came out far stronger in the second half, and played some great football – it was clear at this point why they are now top of this division. I can barely remember a single long-ball being played, which was in stark contrast to the tactically-tired approach from the home side.

The Addicks' best chance of the half came in bizarre fashion from Bristol defender McCombe. He sliced a clearance that bounced over his own keeper, and fortunately for him, his own net as well.

McCombe made no mistake at the other end minutes later though, as City picked up a deserved equaliser. Youga, who had an uncharacteristically average game, found himself caught out of position in a City attack, the resulting cross headed out for a corner by Ambrose. McCombe then made the home side pay for their inability to extend the lead by powering home a header for the leveller.

From this point there was only one team in it. The desire of the Charlton front-line to close down the defence was lacking, allowing City to forge space, keep the ball, and create chances for Adebola and the substitute Byfield.

In the final stages of the game City hit the bar, Youga and McCarthy both made match-saving tackles, and a ricochet off McCarthy almost found it's way into the net.

It’s probably fair to say that only Holland and McCarthy can come out with any particular praise for the home side. Ambrose was absent in the second half, Thomas still flatters to deceive, and I’m still not sure exactly what Andy Gray’s contribution is so far. I also feel we need Bougherra back in defence alongside McCarthy, as Sodje was guilty of poor distribution too many times.

Despite the disappointment of losing yet another lead, this has to be seen as a valuable point. Losing, as we easily could have, may have seen us slip out of the top 6 on Saturday. As it stands, we have a one-match buffer on the chasing pack, a lead which needs to be extended against Preston on Saturday.

City Preview

2008-03-04T12:34:00.003Z

Tonight’s clash sees the Addicks entertain Gary Johnson’s table-toppers, Bristol City.

I could use phrases in context with their league position such as ‘unlikely’, ‘over achieving’, ‘punching above their weight’, but that would be unfair to a hard-working side has quite simply attained their position on merit.

One thing I don’t expect to see a lot of tonight is goals. If you compare both teams results, neither of us are getting in a habit of picking up clear wins. Charlton have only had 8 league wins by 2 clear goals or more, and Bristol City just 4.

This points to a tough battle tonight, and one where not only scoring first but keeping hold of the lead will be particularly vital.

The Watford game really was a definition of the ‘game of two halves’ cliché – what Pardew’s side will need to rediscover tonight is the grit and determination displayed in that first half performance, and make it count for the whole ninety minutes.

Team-wise it looks likely than Scott Sinclair will make a full debut, and it will be interesting to see how he fits in with the rest of the squad.

Greg Halford’s position at right-back has demonstrated an exception to the rule that late additions find it difficult to gel, although Andy Gray’s relatively anonymous displays so far serve as a warning to upsetting the applecart.

From a personal viewpoint, I hope I can at least catch some of the first-half tonight. My magical memory powers (and clear reliance on a mobile phone calendar I failed to update) have let me down, and I’m sans-season ticket and warm clothing for tonight. A trip back to N4 to grab the ticket, yeti-coat and car, a mad dash through the Blackwall Tunnel, and a teeth-gnashing effort to find an SE7 parking space it is then…

Avoiding The Baggies

2008-03-03T20:08:00.000Z

Saturday's result against Sheff Yoo was a welcome surprise after recent games, but I won't be getting carried away with hopes of automatic promotion. That proposition is long-gone in my opinion, and it could only take one slip-up and results go against us for the likes of Wolves and Hull to overtake us.

That said, a look down the BBC predictor gives me confidence of us finishing well in the top six, and with any luck that position will be wrapped up with a couple of games to go.

My main worry about the playoffs is simple – avoiding West Brom. The Baggies have gone through an indifferent patch recently, and despite playing the best football in the division they are starting to pay the price for not winning matches.

Stoke and Watford may not be the prettiest sides in this division by any means, but they've got a knack of picking up the results when it counts. Although they have 2 games in hand on Stoke, West Brom are still 4 points away from the automatic spots, and on recent form pegging back that gap shouldn't be taken for granted.

Crazy or not, my money is on Bristol City winning this division. Not what you'll want to be thinking with a visit to The Valley approaching in a couple of days, but they've been up there all season and haven't fallen away as many of us expected. Stoke got up here with a run, but City are there on merit of consistency, and I expect them to stay there.

Second is one from Stoke, West Brom and Watford. For West Brom to make it, they simply have to start winning the games they should be. Too many points have been dropped by them this season, and they run a real risk of missing out.

I've no fear at all of playing any of Watford, Stoke or Ipswich in the playoffs. On our day we're good enough to beat any of those teams. What I don't think we're capable of is pulling off a win against Tony Mowbray's side. If we get them over 2 legs, I fear the worst – I can't see us scoring enough at home to take a lead to The Hawthorns.

A one-off at Wembley would be our best bet, but avoiding them would be even better.

Chartered Athletic

2008-02-28T13:16:00.004Z

It seems like an age since the Watford game, and as I can’t get to Bramall Lane on Saturday due to other arrangements I’m thankful for an alternative football fix this evening.

I’ll be doing my best Nicky Weaver impression between the sticks tonight – I’m the ‘official’ ringer goalkeeper for my flatmate’s accountancy firm footy team, Chartered Athletic.

I’d originally suggested Accounting Stanley as a name, but luckily sense on their part prevailed – this is as close as I’ll ever get to represent our boys in red. Unfortunately, the kit looks more like a Newcastle home shirt minus a sponsor, but maybe that’s a precursor for next year seeing as we’re all stakeholders in that little venture now… ;)

As far as the trip up the M1 goes this weekend, last night can’t have done our chances any harm. Heavy-legged and down after a cruel defeat at the hands of Boro, I’m hoping that Blackwell’s United side will have had some of the wind knocked out of their recently rejuvinated sails.

Let’s hope for a display of pace and trickery – Cook and Sam could make a real impact on this fixture.

And, if all else fails, get some shots rebounding off the post to Paddy Kenny. With any luck I won’t be suffering the same cruel fate tonight – as a goalkeeper, there’s nowhere to hide…

The Alternative Away Trip

2008-02-27T09:39:00.001Z

Well, I'm back now, and by all accounts it sounds like I didn't miss a lot by avoiding Blackpool at the weekend. In fact, perhaps rather worringly, I didn't miss it at all.

I was in Manchester of all places, not too far away from the depravity and tackiness of the Blackpool coast. What a difference – the city is fantastic, full of culture, vibrancy and an identity so sorely lacking from so many other places in this country.

I've long had a bit of an affinity with the place due to the music scene – The Smiths, The Roses, The Mondays, Joy Division, New Order... loads of pioneering stuff came out of this area of the North West, and the locals aren't shy to embrace it.

The Urbis had a rather neat Hacienda exhibition charting the birth, life, and eventual death of one of the most original clubs in the country. It's hard not to admire the sheer balls and confidence shown by Tony Wilson and the Factory crowd to have created something so different, and in the face of ridiculous financial losses – if you believe the legends, New Order were propping up the club to the tune of ten grand a month at one point.

Speaking of financial losses, those were never far away from me last weekend – the bloody shops there are ace. King Street took a fair chunk of my wallet, and Selfridges wasn't too far away in the retail therapy stakes.

I wasn't completely immune to the on-pitch events – 3 brief breaks to check the scores on the mobile saw relief at drawing level before half-time, but the result was confirmed when I got back to my hotel.

The weekend was fantastic though, as was the company, and it reminded me what we can look forward to after May. As football fans, we tend to lead a double-life. From late August to May all we can think about is football. Our weekends are consumed, family, friends and loved ones miss out for at least a day a week, and our state of mind throughout this period can be completely determined by the performance of eleven men on a pitch.

Yet, for the best part of 3 months a year, we're different. We find things outside of football to occupy us, and it's a time to enjoy. The pressures, joys and despair are of our own making. Despite the escape that football gives us, it's a fantastic feeling to be back in control again. There's no excuses – the time is there to be taken, and more importantly, used wisely.

I'll still be kicking every ball for the rest of the season, still be keeping up with all things CAFC, still be writing here, and it's because I love it.

Yet, whatever happens come the end of the season, I'll be enjoying my time away from the game and the alternative away trips it brings.

Football may be more important than life or death, but there's still plenty of time for the other two.

On Me Hols

2008-02-22T07:40:00.002Z

I'm off in a bit for a weekend away, so no updates until Monday I'm afraid!

Ironically I'll be barely 30 minutes away from tomorrow's opponents, Blackpool. If you read the preview before the corresponding home fixture you'll know I'd rather swap my bog-roll for sandpaper than visit the place anytime soon, so I won't be sneaking to Bloomfield Road on the sly.

What do I expect from tomorrow? Well, Blackpool's form should be worrying us for a start. Not because they're on a particularly good run by any means - quite the opposite in fact. The seasiders have had only 2 wins in 2008, and based on our record of polishing off out-of-form teams, I can see a struggle on the cards tomorrow.

The simple fact is that we're failing miserably to win what should be the 'easier' games in this league. The players seriously need to address this, and soon - the ability to rise to the occassion will be invaluable in the Playoffs, but we're not there yet. If we fail again to pick up 3 points, it won't be long before we start paying for this as the likes of Plymouth, Burnley and (dare I say it) Palace creep up on us.

Concentration and commitment tomorrow please chaps - let's hope I'm the only one on holiday tomorrow...

Off-Topic Time..

2008-02-20T22:20:00.004Z

Apologies to the CAFC crowd today – going off-topic for the first time in a while!

I'm sat on a train right now and I'm seething. Not for the usual reasons – it's not half an hour late, doesn't reek of pee, and as yet I've not managed to present myself to the world after pressing the wrong button in the automatic toilet.

No, its about an article I just read in this morning's Metro (p19) about the world of Internet Dating. I'm not about to bash it – a friend of mine met his fiancé this way, and a few other friends have had varying degrees of success as well.

In theory, it's great – you get to plug in everything about you (all true of course), and depending on the site in question, get presented with a virtual 'wish list' of the qualities you look for in your potential partner. It's almost kind of like a 'Weird Science Lite' as you go through your shopping list.

Tall, short, race, religion, age... one site even gives you a percentage match of how much you fit a potential partner's criteria, and how much they fit to yours. Or, as a friend of mine puts it - “I meet her criteria by 100% - she only meets mine by 85%. So she has to try a bit harder...”

This is all well and good, and in many ways is simply a bit of harmless fun. However, the interview I read in the paper today concerns people specifically looking for partners who are financially secure. Some quotes from a particular site's director aiming themselves at this demographic:

“We do often get questions about the men because some of these women are wealthy and successful and want someone of similar quality”

“People say it's the basis of shallow... ...We do strongly believe it's not just one thing: money and financial stability suggest quality and drive”

“Is it any less shallow than someone being attracted to someone because of their looks?”

Now, I'll hold my hands up here – I've got a bit of a chip on my shoulder about people with pots of cash, so this kind of thing can rile me for starters. That said, it's due to the fact that I don't rate myself as having much - others would possibly disagree.

But the interesting thing about the article, and something I've discovered whilst I've been in the process of writing this, is that my initial disgust and anger from reading what initially appeared to be distastefully materialistic, gold-digging comments, gradually eased off.

The thing that hit me was simple – the last quote really is true. People just want to find what makes them happy.

The classic, commonly acknowledged quote out there is that 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'. In the same way, it can be argued that success can be measured in the context a person can relate to. Therefore, it stands to reason that a wealthy person's view of 'success' will be somewhat different to yours or mine.

We may see success as completing a project, winning a football match, getting a bonus at work. As the money levels step up, so does the bar of success. That project becomes a company take-over, the football match nailing a multi-million-pound deal, and the bonus could be an equally extravagant proposition.

Are things really that different between the rich and the poor in this respect? As human beings, we all look for things we can relate too, something we have in common. It's not so surreal for beautiful people to be in tow, and to complement the status quo the vice-versa tends to stand the same.

For centuries people have looked for 'their equal', and the modern human being will adapt to it's circumstances – if there are millionaires or people of a certain raised level of wealth out there, it's only natural that they will seek out the same type of person.

So, tonight I will sit in my corner of comparative averageness. I will bathe in the salary that the high-class city worker won't bother to get out of bed to earn.

There is, however, compensation in all of this – despite 'average' being seen as a dirty word in modern times, it stands simply to represent the median. If qualities hold true for the levels above and below average, it the same must be true for the median. If the median holds true, it is real for all of us.

Taken to a logical conclusion, this can only be a comfort for us all – so for the singletons out there, don't go rushing to save for the luxury yacht just yet... there's something here for us.

Minutes Of Madness – Charlton 2, Watford 2

2008-02-17T15:54:00.001Z

Watford put what looks to be the final nail in Charlton's automatic promotion coffin yesterday as the Addicks managed to squander a two goal lead in as many minutes.

Charlton started the match well and were a cut above Watford for most of the first half. Varney came close in the third minute with a dipping volley, and had another chance with a close range header minutes later.

It was Ambrose who broke the deadlock though, who turned in Zheng Zhi's cross from close range for a deserved opener.

Both sides traded efforts for the next 20 minutes, Watford guilty of screwing some good opportunities wide. It was Charlton who added to their tally though, this time as a result of the advancing Greg Halford.

Halford and Sam had been trading passes down the right flank all game, and a speculative cross from the defender was clumsly turned into his own net by Shittu.

The home side were 2 up, and Watford were on the ropes. Despite the pedigree of both sides coming into the game, Charlton seemed to have the better of the physical battle. Varney in particular was winning plenty of headers and putting in tackles, and there always seemed to be an Addick in the right place.

Watford were far from beaten though, and as McAnuff''s shot came back off the post moments before half-time, Boothroyd was readying the changes for the second half.

And how things changed. Watford were a different team after the break – gone was the poor long-ball football that has typified their season so far, and the physical side of their game returned.

As we've seen all too often at The Valley, a two-goal margin is never enough, and a fired-up Watford side clearly wanted it more as the home side backed off too much, and it took only 10 minutes for parity to be restored.

The first came as substitute O'Toole stole in behind the Addicks defence, and slotted past Weaver. There were cries of offside from the North Stand, but I'll have to reserve judgment seeing as nobody could see where O'Toole came from in the first place.

As so often happens after a goal, Watford got another within a minute when Shittu headed in from a corner. The home defence had gone completely to sleep at 2 key occasions, and who knows what the outcome may be on our season as a result.

The match petered out as a contest after this, as Watford failed to keep the initiative and a shell-shocked Charlton couldn't find a way back in. It was a scrappy affair for the last half-hour, and was constantly stopped by some extremely fussy refereeing which only achieved to wind up the home crowd.

The only bright spark for the last 20 was the introduction of Lee Cook, much to the derision of the Watford support. I've never seen much of him, but on this evidence he's an extremely skilful, quick-footed player who looks capable of putting in a telling cross. In comparison with another lethargic cameo from Thomas, I could see Cook being a player to get us a few goals during the run-in.

The full-time whistle was greeted with much abuse for the match officials, but after calming down from the occasion you simply can't blame results like this on referees – we had a 2 goal cushion and blew it.

We can definitely forget about automatic promotion now – the reality is that the teams below us are closer than Watford, so our concern has to be cementing a play-off place.

We could never be certain of an automatic spot this season, but anything less than a play-off place now would be a disaster.

“No” To Game 39 – Part 2: Exploring The 'Cons'

2008-02-17T15:50:00.000Z

Following on from my previous piece looking at the apparent 'Pros' of an additional overseas match in the Premier League, this post looks at the Cons. For me, these are:

- Imbalance of the league through unfair fixtures
- Seeding system flaws
- Impeding on other national leagues
- Damage to the national team
- Complete disregard for regular match-attending supporters

Firstly, the English football league has historically been conducted on the basis that each team plays each other twice, home and away. This promotes a level playing field in the fixtures list as no team can claim to have an easier ride than another – each team will have to play Man United twice for example.

Adding an extra game completely throws this concept of a balanced league out of the window. An extra game means potentially playing Man United, Arsenal or Chelsea 3 times in a season. It means a team could win the league on the basis of getting an easier match than a rival, or on the flipside a team could be relegated due to an additional hard fixture.

This, coupled with the proposed concept of seeding, only exacerbates the potential injustice that could be served up by an additional fixture. Any kind of seeding to 'protect' the top teams would be inherently biased against the needs of the teams facing relegation, and turns the process into a lottery.

Also, at what point would seedings take place? The fairest possible time to take seedings would be the last minute before the games would be played. However, this would be logistically impossible as the teams would need to prepare for where they would travel to, and the venues would need to promote the games in advance. Seedings made in December or at the start of the season could be vastly inaccurate when it comes to the time the matches are played.

Playing games abroad will also tread on the toes of national leagues that are already struggling to promote themselves in the face of popularity of the European leagues. Stamping on the leagues emerging in Asia and the USA will have a negative impact on the development of World football, as it is likely that many foreign fans will only be interested in attending Premier League matches rather than those of their local clubs.

There could be disappointment in the fixtures for the bidding countries – everyone will want Man United, Arsenal, Liverpool and Chelsea, but will nations bid the anticipated sums for Wigan and Fulham?

This could also damage the national team for two reasons. Firstly, I've lost count of the times I hear the FA and managers complain that players have too many matches a season. There has continually been talk of reducing the Premier League to 18 teams. Yet, they are considering bringing an additional match into the calendar that would not only tire players with an additional fixture, but risk further injury, illness or tiredness due to the effects of a different climate and unnecessary travel.

The other impact on the national team could come from the increased revenue. If the teams receive more money, this will simply be used for wages to buy the best players, or to keep them if they already have them. We are already seeing the policy of buying abroad in action in the top league, and with the additional money I can't see this improving.

Alongside the imbalance of the league, the most important issue for me is the disregard for the loyal football fan. The suggestion has been made that this has no effect on supporters, as it i an additional gam and therefore they don't 'lose' one as such.

However, fans will want to attend any game they can. As a season ticket holder I attend every home match, and around half the away fixtures. I would obviously want to attend the additional game if I could, which is likely to be at considerable expense. There are also fans out there who have never missed a game in years, and the thought of missing a their team in these cases must be unbearable.

The arrogance of the League is shocking – to think it doesn't affect us as the game is an additional one frankly shows what regard they have for the loyal football fan. The clubs are the heart and soul of many parts of this nation, and any attempt to devalue the input of fans that have built and supported the clubs for so long is one that is hard to stomach.

One thing that isn't beyond the bounds of possibility is that of teams uprooting. If foreign fixtures are successful, why would a team need to be constrained to their current homes? What would be the need for a club having a stadium when playing around the world is more profitable? One Premier League manager has already been quoted that this could turn clubs into the football equivalent of the Harlem Globetrotters.

An extreme thought maybe, but in a world where money is running our game as a commodity and the average football fan is becoming a smaller part of the equation, are we that far away?

"No" To Game 39 – Part 1: Rubbishing The 'Pros'

2008-02-14T13:14:00.009Z

I was pleasantly surprised this morning as I read through the BBC website this morning regarding the plans to take Premier League games overseas. Assuming the report is correct, none other than our own Peter Varney is apparently strongly opposed to the idea.

The factor of an additional game wasn't mentioned in the report, but this was part of the League's proposal. Now, it’s hard for me to write objectively about this as I’m totally opposed to the idea myself, but let’s look at the ‘Pros’ as they stand:

- It will generate more money for the clubs through television and fanbase
- Fanbase will increase globally as a result
- Global fans who couldn’t normally see a match will have the opportunity

The money is the obvious plus point for the Premier League and its clubs. Let’s face it, football at the top level has become about milking the money, unless you happen to have a Russian billionaire treating the club as a loss-making plaything.

However, all that happens when more money comes into the game is that it goes into the pockets of players and agents – reduced ticket prices for fans are almost unheard of, apart from some notable exceptions.

Clubs say they will be able to attract the best players, but I thought we already were apparently? And if this is the case, all that will happen is that the same players will be paid more and nothing will improve. What’s the point?

There is a counter argument that the better players may go elsewhere to more money if we don’t take this step. I’ve 2 answers for that – firstly, I don’t want a player at my club who’s only interest is money. Secondly, this scenario would affect all clubs in that league, so the standard would at least level-out when the greedy players go. Personally, I couldn’t care less if we see any superstars, I just care about my club, the football, and desire to win.

So, onto the fanbase. Who really cares if fanbases increase globally? Firstly, I want to excuse ex-pats from the equation – they’ve had an affinity with their team in the past, and this is the only group of people I would actually feel sorry for if they miss the action.

That exception aside, I really couldn’t care less if we don’t have supporters in Asia, Africa or the USA. Can you really class yourself as a ‘supporter’ if you’ve never attended a game or stepped foot in that country? Why not support a local team instead and take joy in the development of that team and their league?

I don’t see why the needs of fans in other countries should affect the bread-and-butter home supporters who turn up every week, even taking midweek trips and days off to follow their club away as well. Buying the odd replica shirt and watching games on telly thousands of miles away is hardly in the same bracket.

Leagues exist in all countries, and the Premier League will brazenly trample on their development by dangling a ‘glamour’ match in front of people in this arrogant fashion.

I’ve still got the ‘Cons’ to discuss in detail, but I’ll leave that for tomorrow – the imbalance of not playing all teams twice, travel, the potential ‘MK Dons effect’ etc will all be covered…

Playoffs It Is Then – Sheff Weds 0, Charlton 0

2008-02-13T13:41:00.001Z

Charlton’s away record of late is getting as good as mine of actually attending – we haven’t won away since December, and a glance at the table will tell you all you need to know as a result.

No match report as I was shamefully enjoying a rather good curry in Brick Lane last night rather than taking up room in the Leppings Lane end, but from the reports I’ve read it doesn’t sound like I missed much.

It’s becoming almost inevitable these days that a morale-boosting win is followed by a depressing draw or loss. The games we simply should have won are now racking up, and I find it amazing that we’re still only 6 points off an automatic promotion spot. The problem we have is that the only consistency we can find right now is in our own inconsistency.

It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if we absolutely wallop Watford on Saturday. 2, 3, 4 nil – would it be that much of a shock? Then you look at the two away fixtures that follow (Brighton and Sheff Yoo) and it’s hard to see further than snatching a point if we’re lucky.

(Not Brighton - Blackpool you fool! Ed)

It’s so frustrating at times – the start of the season was all about our form on the road, and the poor displays at home. The only positive to take from this performance turnaround is that we’ve got the opportunity to take points off the teams that matter in our home games.

3 points at home against Watford, Bristol City and West Brom would go far to cement our place in the play-offs – but as long as we continue to struggle on the road against the poorer sides, this will be all we can hope for this season.

Still, the leg-room at Wembley is fantastic…

Eagles Wings Clipped – Charlton 2, Palace 0

2008-02-10T14:24:00.001Z

Charlton put paid to Palace's recent surge up the table with a comprehensive 2-0 victory at The Valley on Friday. The match was hotly anticipated by both sets of fans after the recent resurgence of both teams, although the game turned out to be a one-sided affair.

2 second-half goals from Luke Varney sent the home crowd into delirium, and the overall performance of the team was magnificent – possibly the best display I've seen since the 4-0 demolition of West Ham.

Pardew kept the same shape as in previous games, and opted for a front pairing of Gray and Varney. The midfield stayed the same, and Greg Halford made his debut at right-back in the place of Viewtoakill.

Charlton dominated the early passages of play, and although Palace seemed to win a lot in the air, the passing and movement of the Addicks created numerous opportunities to break the deadlock.

A neat turn from Halford almost presented the opener, but he dragged his shot wide. Zheng Zhi had a shot saved spectacularly by Speroni after a flowing move, and Varney rattled the post from a tight angle. Throughout this passage of play, Palace had created nothing – the Charlton back-four were on great form, and the intelligent distribution was a joy to watch.

Warnock clearly had words with his players at half-time, as Palace looked a different side for the first ten minutes of a telling second half. Our midfield suddenly looked shaky, and a few needless corners were conceded. Youga also made an excellent last-ditch challenge to prevent a one-on-one with Weaver.

Charlton gradually got themselves back into the game, and once again appeared to be the side most likely to break the deadlock.

The opener finally came from a free kick. Gray's deft flick fell into the path of the advancing Varney, who managed to touch the ball past Speroni under pressure from the last defender. 1-0, and The Valley exploded.

Thankfully the home side didn't try to sit on the goal, and continued to press forward to finish off the tie. Varney had a good penalty shout turned down as he was tugged back in the area, but in fairness this cancelled out what looked like an earlier handball from Bougherra in the Charlton box.

Varney was also clattered by Hudson with a horrible looking two-footed challenge, which amazingly went unpunished by the referee. Varney was to have the last laugh though as he settled the match 4 minutes from time.

A pass from Holland release the striker down the wing, who then opted to run at the Palace defence rather than square to substitute Iwelumo. His decision paid off as he rifled his shot into the goal, ironically via Hudson, and wrote his name into Charlton history.

It really was a great performance all round – Youga was rock-solid, Bougherra and McCarthy bossed the back-line, and Halford made an impressive debut. He's not as fast as Viewtoakill, but his long throw is fantastic and he looks to have both a good footballing brain and an eye for a pass.

On this evidence, a great signing Pards – we've now got a back-four brimming with confidence, and perhaps with the possibly harsh exception of McCarthy, a defence that are confident in passing and moving the ball rather than taking the obvious hoof.

Holland and Zhi put in another great display in the middle of the pitch as well, Zhi's performance being particularly impressive considering his midweek game in Dubai. If there are any criticisms to be made, Sam wasn't on his best form, and Ambrose was guilty of giving the ball away far too much.

Up front, Gray didn't have the biggest of impacts – aside from the first goal, the partnership with Varney will need more time as they understand each other's games. Varney of course was excellent, and I was happy to see him be both greedy and ruthless for his second – at this level, we simply need to get the ball in the net.

Sadly, I need to knock some marks off myself for being so late with this match report – I'm currently sitting in a pub in Soho at Sunday lunchtime trying to find somewhere with a wi-fi connection after a ridiculously busy week!

Anyway – hats off to Pards and the team. I made the walk back to the Dome and home to North London a very happy man on Friday night. The results may not have gone our way yesterday, but we're still only 5 points off the action.

A win against Sheffield Wednesday could really put the shakes on the teams above us – let's hope the players can carry the momentum into what should be a tricky, but winnable, away tie.

Appointment With The Palace

2008-02-08T13:27:00.000Z

Not a huge amount to report before tonight’s game really – the main news for us is that Greg Halford may make his debut, although I’m uncertain if Pardew will risk the recent defensive harmony for a match of this volatility. However, Halford may offer a ‘tougher’ edge to the defensive unit.

It wouldn’t surprise me to see Semedo start in midfield after Zheng Zhi’s recent appearance for China, and I reckon Pards might take a punt on Varney’s pace alongside Gray up front.

I won’t even try to make a prediction on this one, when it comes down to local derbies form generally tends to go out of the window.

Let’s hope that the players realise how much this fixture means to us, and show the same determination as at Selhurst.

Bugger it – I’ll have a go then, 2-1 Charlton!

Off To Wembley

2008-02-06T13:02:00.000Z

As the end of the season nears, it’s looking increasingly like the playoffs will be our best bet for promotion. With this in mind, I’ll be paying particular attention to my surroundings this evening – I’ve managed to blag a ticket for tonight’s England game against Switzerland.

My first trip to the new Wembley was the opening Under 21’s game against Italy, and it gave a glimpse of what to expect if we can make it there later this year. The stadium is fantastic, and despite the rip-off prices and awful transport situation, it’s hard to fault the overall experience.

The first thing that hits you about the stadium when you leave Wembley Park is the chuffing scale of the damn thing – it’s bloody HUGE. There’s plenty of room when you get inside as well, and despite being a bit ‘bland’ when walking around, it’s a pleasant experience.

I’m looking forward to casting an eye over Capello’s first game in charge, and if the reports are anything to go by, the disciplinarian approach our national team is desperately in need of has already begun. Let’s hope the overpaid lumps take heed.

I don’t think we’ll see many goals tonight, but I am looking forward to the possibility of seeing David Bentley and Ashley Young bringing some pace to the wings. If they can unlock the space to bring Gerrard into shooting range, I wager we’ll see a goal from tonight’s captain.

Let’s hope for a good display – and judging by the sunshine outside, there won’t be a brolly in sight…

We Shall Not Be Moved

2008-02-05T13:35:00.001Z

According to this report, Pards is calling for away fans to be moved from their current location in the Jimmy Seed stand.

Now, I can’t vouch for the accuracy of the report or if he’s been quoted out of context, but I’m against this for a number of reasons.

Firstly, if away fans are to be put to one side, it would be tricky to move them anywhere other than the south section of the West Stand. The East Stand would have accessibility issues with segregation, so I can’t see it being much of an option.

Secondly, if we want more fans behind the goal there’s already plenty of room in the North Stand! I sit in Block B, and for each match this season there have been plenty of empty seats. Some of these may be non-attending season ticket holders, but I’d rather see a packed Covered End than a threadbare Jimmy Seed.

Thirdly, it would inevitably mean moving some supporters. Now, after 5 seasons in my seat, I’ve come to think of it as my own. I’m happy there, and wouldn’t want to be forced to move. I know the people around me, and I wouldn’t expect any other season ticket holders to have that taken away from them for the sake of a stadium re-shuffle.

Fourthly (not even sure if these are words now…), if anyone were to be forcibly moved to the Jimmy Seed stand, I doubt they would enjoy the facilities much! In my stand we can head downstairs to keep warm, have plenty of outlets to buy food and drink, and can watch Sky Sports for the scores.

Without significant redevelopment of the area, or lower prices, it would be unfair to expect people to move to a lesser environment. And if their prices were lowered, would mine go up? Unless they want a threadbare end, it would have to involve movement of season ticket holders to avoid embarrassment. This may be less of an issue in the Premiership, but let’s get there first.

Finally, I am proud of the fact that away fans have their own end at The Valley. It’s long been a tradition to have opposing fans at each end, and frankly moving the away supporters is a cowardly way of attempting to resolve issues of stadium atmosphere.

I find the banter with away fans to be part of the game, and there are many times that the reaction of the away fans can make us louder and more passionate as a result. Can you imagine a stadium with no away fans? I reckon it would be practically silent. By that token, moving away fans to a ‘less intimidating’ area would have a similar effect on the noise levels from the home support.

Don’t get me wrong here – I want us to get behind the team and have a great supporting atmosphere at The Valley. But I think it’s against the spirit of the game to do a Villa or a Newcastle and simply try and hide away supporters like they don’t exist - they have paid for the right to be there as well as us.

The atmosphere at home has been fantastic on occasions, and I reckon it will be electric on Friday. Pards – concentrate on what’s happening on the pitch, this really is something I don’t think needs changing.

In Search Of Entertainment

2008-02-04T21:48:00.000Z

After missing the weekend's exploits at sunny Scunthorpe and a particularly shitty start to the week at work, I'm in need of some entertainment this evening.

Luckily, the gods are smiling on me tonight – no crappy ITV sitcoms or docu-dramas for me tonight though, I've been catching some Freeview sport at it's best.

I'm not a big fan of egg chasing, but at least the Superbowl allowed me some sporting interest of the non-round variety without getting my shoes thrown-up on by a rugby-supporting 'gentleman'.

BBCi got it right on this one – watch the rolling highlights special and you're in for a treat. No adverts, no stop/start dross – this was pure entertainment, and a genuinely thrilling finish. It was also great to see the underdog come out on top, as the New York Giants won at the death to destroy the 100% record of the New England Patriots.

So far so good – the licence fee was beginning to pay off.

My next televisual treat comes in the form of the African Cup of Nations, and boy can it be entertaining at times. You might have read Frankie Valley's assessment of the quality on display, but now we're getting towards the final stages the skin is beginning to form on the custard.

I've just seen some fantastic shots, goals, and action – and this was just in the highlights segments at half-time. Some of the goals have been frankly amazing, and the Ivory Coast's 5-0 destruction of Guinea simply has to be seen as a footballing master class.

The thing I like about the teams in this competition is that they're not afraid to have a go, and have no fear of looking a bit of a twat after thumping the ball nearer to the corner flag than the goal. But when they eventually catch the ball right, they bloody well fly in.

Right now the game is perched on a knife-edge – Cameroon are 2-1 up against Tunisia in the quarter-final, and we get to see Alex Song back in action alongside the likes of Samuel Eto'o.

Hope you're watching Pards – we could do with a midfielder with an eye for a pass... ;)

Missed The Lot – Scunthorpe 1, Charlton 0

2008-02-02T17:28:00.001Z

Things started badly for my attempt at covering this game, and the result didn't really do me any favours either. A tricky month financially and a low fuel-tank kept me away from the charms of Glanford Park, compounded further by the fact I couldn't get a DAB or AM reception for BBC Kent's coverage of the game.

So, sadly this is the first game in a while where I can't really add any critique on the performance. This doesn't change the fact that we've slipped up again, and it took a Southampton equaliser at Selhurst to save us from slipping further down the table.

Scunthorpe, without a win in 6 and at busy propping up 22 other teams, looked ripe for the taking today on recent form. Even though we went a goal down, a second yellow card and sending-off for Butler should have given us the opportunity to unlock the Iron's defence.

Those who were at the game will be better placed to tell you if our 11 shots posed a real threat, or if our 10 corners were a sign of dominance, but at the end of the ninety minutes there's only one statistic that counts – Paterson's 11th league goal has cost us the chance of catching up with the league leaders.

In fact, I spent the entire match updating the BBC league predictor with the scores as they came in. It was an interesting way of looking at the games as they progressed – Palace for example managed to be fifth at one point, before slipping to seventh at full-time. Ipswich jumped 4 places to sixth after finally getting an away win. Norwich were the biggest benefactors, leaping to 13th and closer to safety with a 90th minute winner against relegation rivals Preston.

It's a fascinating way to look at the shape of the league as the matches progress – if you're ever unlucky enough to be restricted to the joys of BBC text commentary, swap to the predictor instead – it's much more fun.

So, were back in the thick of it after yet another poor result against a relegation candidate. Anything less than a win against Palace could be a disaster, as Wolves, Hull and Ipswich are sniffing around the playoff spots.

3 points today should have separated us from the rest of the pack, but the reality of today's result is that we're in a real scrap now, and one I expect to last until the final day of the season.

Cap? Hell, No...

2008-02-01T16:37:00.000Z

In amongst yesterday's transfer deadline scramble came the news of Fabio Capello's first England Squad. The major absentee is of course David Beckham, currently one cap short of the magic 100.

It would be all too easy to be sentimental about the occasion, but Capello has taken the tough decision to leave Beckham out. And I agree with him. In my opinion, this isn't the gutless 'token dropping' that McClaren made when he started the job – it's a case of Capello wanting to find out as much as he can about young and exciting English players.

Beckham, despite all his criticisms, has been a magnificent servant to the England team. In a squad of players who all too often flatter to deceive, Beckham is one of the few to be able to say they put their all in on a regular basis.

There have of course been low points – missed penalties, sendings off, and purposely getting booked against Wales despite the risk of injuring another player (Ben Thatcher of all people).

That said, there's been so many highs as well – the penalty against Argentina and that free kick against Greece being the two that always spring to mind.

The thing is though, England isn't about one player – it's about the team and the nation behind it. We have to think to the future, and giving Beckham what would amount to a token cap isn't the right way to bring life to a new regime in English football.

The facts are important to consider. Beckham hasn't played a competitive game for months, and the few appearances in an LA Galaxy shirt are hardly a test at the highest level. Training with Arsenal is a positive step, but training and matches are completely different scenarios.

I have to completely agree with Capello's reasons for not picking Beckham on the basis of match fitness. Friendly or not, it's Capello's duty as manager to pick the best squad available to him, and it's especially important in the early days to see as many new players as he can.

The new squad shows signs of promise – the inclusion of the pacey Agbonlahor was widely anticipated, but perhaps not so much Ashley Young, Curtis Davies, Nicky Shorey, and David Bentley.

These are the kind of players that will form the basis of the England team over the next 5 years, and giving them a chance sooner rather than later is far more important in a Friendly match than playing an unfit player who we already know everything about.

This does not shut the door on Beckham by any means, and I fully expect Beckham to be back in the England fold sooner rather than later. Capello will need no introduction to his talent, and once he starts playing competitive matches again he can prove he is ready to return to the England set up.

After all, I'm sure that fighting for and earning that hundredth cap will be a far sweeter feeling for Beckham than any token gesture.

Good-bye Reidy...

2008-01-31T13:06:00.001Z

Image © Charlton Athletic

It's now official – Sunderland have had a bid accepted for Andy Reid, and it's now down to agreeing personal terms.

I'm still disappointed by this – the £4 million fee will of course be welcome, but I worry about the effect this could have on our run-in. He's often criticised for pace and the way he dictates the play, but the fact remains that he offers a flash of class that can win a match that so few players at this level possess.

There will also be times when we have to play 4-5-1, and in these instances we are distinctly below par without Reid's creativity. Much of our resurgence in style and pace has been seeded from the presence of Youga and Moutaouakil – if we were to lose them to injury, I don't think 4-4-2 would be as effective as in recent games.

However, everyone has his price, and the money is too tempting when the reality is that we need the cash.

Thankfully it hasn't been as protracted an affair as the Parker situation – back then, Parker was the heartbeat of the side and wanted to get away when Chelsea came sniffing. Reid, although clearly not as key to the team as Parker was, has kept quiet throughout the speculation and can walk away from Floyd Road with the respect he deserves.

One thing I can't see happening (although there's 11 hours left for me to get it wrong) is the sale of any more midfielders. There was talk of Thomas going to Portsmouth, but despite my criticisms of him we simply can't afford to let any more go without people coming in.

Our recognised midfield now consists of Holland, Zhi, Ambrose, Sam, Thomas, Semedo and Racon. Thomas can cover Sam, Semedo can cover Holland, but we're yet to see much of Racon. With that situation in mind, it would be madness to thin the squad further.

As a result of the deal, defender Greg Halford may come in on loan. Keane's first signing of the 2007 summer window, he's yet to make an impact with the Black Cats so far. Phil Parkinson obviously rates him from his time at Colchester, so time will tell how he will fit into a back-four that's beginning to show signs of solidity.

Anyway – a big thanks to you Reidy, you'll be missed in SE7 and will no doubt get a fantastic reception on your next trip to The Valley.

Transfer Speculation Continues

2008-01-30T12:04:00.000Z

There's a day to go until the transfer deadline, and if the reports are to be believed it looks like the movement is outwards rather than incoming.

The future of Jerome Thomas and Andy Reid has been speculated recently, and this morning there is news that Portsmouth are interested in a deal for Thomas for £1.5 mil, and Sunderland are chasing Reid for £2.5 mil.

I stated in an earlier post that I didn't expect Thomas to leave, and that I hoped the vultures wouldn't be swooping around Reid. However, in our present financial situation and the way we are playing recently, the club may decide to accept these offers.

I'm really not too fussed if Thomas goes. Yes, he's a handful. Yes, he can be exciting to watch. However, the reality is that once you get past the step-overs and close control, there's not a lot of end-product to his game. He rarely scores (although he has got some crackers) and his crossing is often wayward. If rumours of £1.5 million are right, I'd personally take it. It would pay for the Gray transfer, and I would imagine he's still on Premier League wages.

Reid is one I really don't want us to let go of. It's arguable by some that we don't need him as much now – our switch to 4-4-2 doesn't necessarily give us the luxury of protecting Reid to create, and he doesn't have the tackling of Zhi or the pace of Ambrose.

However, we need to think what might happen towards the end of the season. If Youga and Viewtoakill pick up injuries, we might not be able to play with the same attacking shape we have. There may be games where we have to play 4-5-1. In these instances without a clear attacking formation, Reid has proved to be our only source of creativity, which poor results over the Christmas period only served to prove.

Then there's also the question of the proposed fee. £2.5 million is only half what I value Reid at, especially when you consider the frankly ridiculous sums Sunderland have been dishing out recently. If Kenwyne Jones is worth £6 million, the sums mentioned so far are frankly an insult and smacks of Keane and Quinn playing on their Irish connections.

The fact that we don't appear to be linked with bringing in any fresh blood as a replacement is further indication that any more transfer activity may simply be a book-balancing exercise. I really hope this isn't the case.

Murray/Pards – Let Thomas go to pay for Gray if we have to. But with the push for promotion heading in the right direction, the loss of a match-winner like Reid could really hinder our prospects.

The riches that could meet us in the Premier League will dwarf £2.5 million in the short term.

Coals Stoked For A Run – Charlton 1, Stoke 0

2008-01-30T11:37:00.000Z

Charlton's promotion hopes were given a major boost last night with a battling 1-0 win over promotion rivals Stoke. With other results going in favour of The Addicks, we're right back in the hunt for cementing a play-off spot and are only 4 points off the top.

Last night's game was a fast and furious affair, at least until the ball found the hands of Stoke 'keeper Steve Simonsen – although his shocking display of time-wasting somehow vanished the moment Lloyd Sam opened the scoring with 7 minutes remaining.

Charlton had many opportunities throughout the game, yet struggled to translate them into shots on target. There was some delightful passing on display at times, but all too often the final ball was missing – there's a real need to find a killer instinct in the side.

That can be my only real criticism of the team though, as they out-muscled one of the hardest teams to play in the league. Stoke put up a worthy defence for much of the game, resorting to hopeful punts up to the lively Fuller, and a host of long-throws into the Charlton box.

Luckily, the defence were equal to the test. After almost every recent game I've had to treat myself to another slice of humble pie regarding Paddy McCarthy – he exercised the ghost of his poor performance at The Brittania earlier this season with yet another sterling display last night.

Bougherra was solid as well, and also played a hand in the attack. He came close to opening the scoring with a header going just wide in the first half, and a surging run and shot in the second was unlucky not to end in a goal.

Moving forward, Matt Holland was leading by example in midfield. This was probably one of the best performances I've seen from the veteran, who never backed out of a challenge and kept the ball moving. Zheng Zhi was also full of running, although will probably feel his end-product could have been better at times. Sam was lively and Ambrose often involved, although I feel they need to have a bit more confidence to put in a shot rather than look for the extra pass.

The strikers did their job last night against a physical side. Pardew opted for Iwelumo's strength and Gray's guile, and although they may not have had much of an impact in front of goal, they offered the ability to hold the ball up and bring the midfielders into the attack.

The anticipated late introduction of Varney gave the pace that was needed to unlock the game in the final stages. With 7 minutes remaining, the ball found Varney in the box via Holland with the goal begging. Varney could only strike air, but luckily his fluff left the ball at his feet in front of an advancing Simonsen. A smart cross found Sam on the line to nod in between 2 Stoke defenders.

The final stages of the game were tense, and Parkin was denied a dramatic late equaliser by a superb point-blank save from Weaver. Charlton then had a chance to make it 2, but Zhi made a mess of the opportunity after a quick break from Thomas. Stoke then appeared to lose it and resorted to kicking our players around, but luckily no injuries, no yellow cards, and an important 3 points were the result.

Pardew will be well pleased with what was achieved at The Valley last night – we proved that that playing football against even the most physical of teams can win you games at this level, providing everyone on the pitch gives it their all.

Let's hope this can continue in a winnable away tie at Scunthorpe on Saturday – an away win could really make things interesting at the top, and stoke the coals for an end-of-season run.

Potters Preview

2008-01-29T13:35:00.000Z

Image © Russ London

It's getting pointless really calling each home game a 'must-win' at this time in the season – the simple fact is that going forwards, anything less than 3 points at home will markedly hinder our chances of getting promotion, playoffs or otherwise.

Stoke are our visitors tonight, and the league position between the two teams only stands to highlight this – a win by 2 goals for us will be enough to leapfrog Stoke, an away win will see them 6 clear of us and automatic promotion dead and buried.

If I took one thing away from my trip back from The Potteries earlier in the season, it's that Stoke are a physical side who don't mess about when it comes to getting stuck in. After the comedown of the home draw to Scunthorpe, the reality of the brutality of this league really set in at the Britannia.

We went a goal up, but an injury to Viewtoakill in the build-up unsettled the back-four. Ricardo Fuller levelled only 2 minutes later, and his replacement Jon Parkin finished the game off minutes after coming on.

Tony Pulis's side have only beaten Preston in the last 5 league matches, sandwiching ties against Newcastle United in the cup. That said, the last side they beat prior to this run was West Brom 3-1, and are the highest scorers in the division behind the leaders.

There's no real reason for Pardew to change the shape much in this outing. Andy Gray will most likely start against Varney, and it will be interesting to see how he will shape up in this role. After losing Todorov, we needed a forward man who can so something a bit different. If he can hold the ball up and release Varney's pace, he could cause the Stoke defence some problems.

I can't go any further without acknowledging the result at Leicester last night – the 1-0 result for Holloway's men gave us a big hand at the foot of the playoff positions, and will leave Palace asking themselves a few questions. Hopefully Southampton can have a new manager in place before the weekend to answer them.

The match at Portman Road between Ipswich and Plymouth is the other tie to keep an eye on tonight. The Tractor Boys are practically unbeatable at home, and Plymouth will also be without David Norris due to transfer speculation.

Call me in for stating the pigging obvious, but a lot more will be clearer come 9:45 tonight. And hopefully I'll be feeling happy about it.

A Financial Weak-End?

2008-01-26T15:48:00.001Z

After a week without football or any reasonable transfer speculation at The Valley, I've had to do something that fills me with dread this weekend – return to the real world.

And what a week it's been – since the 1-1 draw at Vicarage Road, share prices have plummeted world-wide, our Home Secretary is to scared to walk the streets, and our Darling still hasn't managed to offload Northern Rock.

In a nutshell, the financial situation for the country isn't looking too rosy. That is, of course, unless your exposure to the rose industry has been limited to the deaths-door reject blooms on a petrol station forecourt.

The problem is a simple one really – as a nation, we've been spending money we don't have. Over the last 10 years, interest rates have been historically low, banks have been all to happy to lend, and consumers have been more than ecstatic to spend. How many of us have been guilty of jumping at 0% interest credit cards, only for the overall debt to rise? (Hand help up...)

The housing situation has worsened things further. We're constantly having it drummed into our skulls about how we all need to be home owners, and how important it is to have a mortgage. This, combined with low interest rates and dubious practices from some mortgage providers, has led to many desperate people being in a situation where nearly half their income is paying the mortgage.

People have also been taking money out of the 'imaginary' future value their property may have – if the values don't continue to rise, then they have to pay the money back. Yet, if the prices do continue to rise, the cycle is almost certainly doomed as salaries aren't matching the increase. How are first-time buyers going to prop up the pyramid?

And, to top it all off, people aren't saving so as a result can't afford the huge deposits necessary. When a bank like Northern Rock can't afford to borrow money to issue a mortgage, it shows something is seriously wrong.

Doesn't make for pretty reading does it? People have been calling for the Bank of England to issue rate cuts like the 1.5% cut in the US, but this won't help – making lending cheap again will only amplify an already bad situation, as people will simply spiral into further debt.

Yep, I'm afraid that times don't look good in the financial world at the moment.

Although I mention 'people', it's unfair blame the situation on consumers - we can only react to the conditions put in front of us. Unfortunately, a combination of Gordonomics and greedy, short-termist elements of the financial industry seem hell-bent on doing their best to serve up a dish that can only collectively screw us up.

There is one thing that can soften the blow from all of this though.

If we sing our bloody arses off for the rest of the season, there's always that free Premiership season ticket to look forward to in August... ;)

A “Thank You” For Frankie

2008-01-25T08:57:00.000Z

Well, I wondered if he was being serious, but it looks like it’s the end of an era for Charlton blogger Frankie Valley.

If things are indeed no more, I’d just like to voice my thanks – I read your blog every day since I stumbled across it a year or so ago.

Always humorous, even in the rants, it made a refreshing change to the p*ss-dull, bog-standard, inaccurate reporting of our club that we get subjected to in the national press. That’s if we’re lucky enough to get more than an amoeba-sized postage stamp in the first place.

It gave me links to the many other Charlton blogs I now read on a daily basis, and to be perfectly honest I wouldn’t even have thought about writing this blog if I hadn’t discovered the wider blogging community. The comments section even kept me checking throughout the day for further gossip.

Anyways – Frankie, if this is the end I salute you. You’ll be missed.

Age Before Beauty

2008-01-23T13:24:00.000Z

Yesterday’s musical question gave me a little food for thought this morning. As much as I see myself as a bit of a spring-chicken solely because I was a nipper when Wham, A-ha and Culture Club were making singles, the reality today is quite the opposite – I’ll be hitting the big 3-0 soon.

The fact I’m writing this might make it seem an issue to me, but it doesn’t really bother me that much to be perfectly honest – I don’t act or do that much differently to ten years ago, although perhaps I might go about things in a shade more sensible fashion. And the hangovers last 2 days now.

In fact, I’m almost happier being a bit older these days. I’ve always looked up to and respected people with a couple of years on me, and it’s interesting to think about that effect in football terms.

When I bumped into Deano in the West Brom car park the other day, he was exactly the kind of person to look up to. 37 years old and rewarded with a new contract, for his sake I wish him the best playing Premiership football next season.

It got me thinking about the rest of the Charlton squad, and I was amazed to realise that only Amdy Faye, Ben Thatcher, Chris Powell, Andy Gray and Matt Holland are older than me. Realistically, only Gray and Holland will play again this season.

Yep, Cap’n Reidy is in nappies compared to me. I could have nicked Paddy McCarthy’s dinner money. I even went to the same school as Darren Ambrose, but swapped College for cross-country runs before our paths met.

We’ve got a surprisingly youthful squad here, even if it is at the upper end of the 20's. And for that reason, I think the introduction of Andy Gray could be a good compliment to the mix.

When you look at the team, who’s the guy galvanising the side and pushing people on? Who’s the one who puts in 100% every match? Who’s the player who always, always comes over to the fans at the end of the game, regardless of the result?

Matt Holland.

The oldest squad member after Chris Powell, and at a ripe 33, I’d imagine Holland's wise head is a massive help in the dressing room through what is a difficult season. If he speaks, I’d listen – and I hope the youngsters feel the same way.

If another old head in the form of Andy Gray can step up to the challenge and take some of the burden away from Matty this season, that’s another feather in his cap in my book.

Making Plans For The Nigels

2008-01-22T13:21:00.000Z

It’s not too long to go until the clash against Palace, and although I expect a tasty tie with the Nigels, it will be far from an easy prospect at The Valley come February the 8th.

After fleeting with the relegation spots at the end of Peter Taylor’s reign, Neil Warnock has moulded Palace into a side that are a genuine promotion contender. Unbeaten in 15 league games, they’ve not only leapfrogged us on goal difference, they can get within a point of the automatic promotion spots with a win away to Leicester on Monday.

You wouldn’t bet against them on current form – of the last 6 away games, their worst result has been a draw. So then - time to start on the homework.

If you look deeper into the statistics, there’s one element that sticks out. The form of Clinton Morrison has been fantastic – 11 goals in the last 14 games, and the next-closest scorer is Scowcroft on 3.

Before Warnock took over at Palace, Morrison was on just 2 goals and had been limited to a number of substitute appearances. Now he’s banging in almost a goal a game, and if Pardew’s got any sense he’ll be studying the videos of the gobby git already.

It may sound daft, but you only have to look at the last 15 results to see where they’re picking up their points – get him out of the game and I think we’ve got a real chance to keep up the pride on South London.

Oh, and a bonus point for whoever spotted the song title in the headline. ;)

Points To Prove - Watford 1, Charlton 1

2008-01-20T21:17:00.003Z

Charlton slipped to sixth in the table after a battling draw at Vicarage Road yesterday. Despite the relief of rescuing a point after coming back from a goal behind, Pardew's side will be disappointed they failed to take all three.

The Addicks opted for the same side that started at West Brom on Tuesday, but with the exception of Iwelumo replacing McLeod. Chris Dickson and new signing Andy Gray made up the striking options on the bench, and McLeod's absence may back up reports of a £1m bid from Crystal Palace.

The game was no classic by any means – the conditions were atrocious, and both sides struggled to cope with the swirling wind and rain. Watford created little in the match, and failed to give any indication of the form they'd shown earlier in the season.

Iwelumo had a few half-chances, but the first clear opportunity came after half an hour when a Varney flick-on released Lloyd Sam, who fired just wide from ten yards. Ambrose missed another two great chances before the half was up, and the away fans were beginning to wonder if it would be one of those days.

Sadly, Calum Davenport left the game in a neck-brace after a collision with Darius Henderson – full news is yet to come through on his condition, and I'm sure I'd echo the feelings of other Addicks by wishing him a speedy recovery.

The second half saw Watford impose themselves more on the game, and McAnuff should have done better with an early chance. The Addicks fought back though, Ambrose forcing an excellent save from Lee, and Sam shaved the post with a fizzing shot.

Despite this pressure, Watford opened the scoring on the hour mark. Moutaouakil failed to pick up Ellington, and after a sweeping move from the home side the ex-Baggies striker found himself in acres of space to slot the ball past Weaver. It was all too easy, and a real disappointment to go a goal down after having so many clear-cut chances.

The remainder of the game stayed on a knife-edge, but despite the tension there were fewer opportunities on goal to be had. Pardew introduced Andy Gray for the last 20 minutes as the Addicks searched for an equaliser, which finally came with 10 minutes remaining.

Ambrose made a surging run at the Watford defence, and his speculative shot from outside the box somehow caught out Richard Lee who could only palm it into his own net. A fortunate goal, but no more than Charlton deserved for their earlier endeavour.

Chris Dickson was introduced for the final stages, although he sadly failed to make the most of what should have been a straight-forward one-on-one with Lee. Clearly he has more to learn at this level, so hopefully this will lower some of the huge expectation mounting on him.

No more goals followed, and the spoils were shared. A mention has to go to Paddy McCarthy, who had an excellent game and looked solid. I've been one of his critics after a shaky start to the season, but in the last few games he has been a real asset to the side.

It remains to be seen if this will be a point gained or lost – I'd possibly have settled for a point before the game, but after an abject display by Watford it really should have been a full haul.

Results around us didn't offer much comfort – we've now been leap-frogged by a resurgent Palace side, although the consolation is that the automatic promotion spot is now only 4 points away. A win against Stoke in 10 days time is vital – the next 4 home games see us play top-six teams, the results of which will go a long way to determining the result of our season.

Money Down The Back Of The Sofa?

2008-01-19T11:42:00.000Z

So, the Andy Gray deal is almost done and dusted - £1.5 mill to Burnley, which could rise to £2 mill, although for now he's officially on an 'emergency loan'. A lot of money for a 30-year old, but I'll reserve judgement on a player that has scored 11 league goals this season.

The thing I'm unsure about is where the money's coming from.

It's no secret that the coffers at The Valley have shrunk dramatically after Dowie's spending spree last year, and our eventual relegation. I'm no accounting expert, but the breakdown of our finances in Wyn Grant's excellent post suggests we have a debt in the region of £23 million. £23 million – that's a rather large pile of cash to find, and highlights the importance of this season's campaign to the club.

I'm guessing Richard Murray's not just found the cash down the back of the sofa, so how will the move be financed?

Well, for a start we're already £200k down - James Walker's move to Southend is reportedly off after a failed medical, and he'll be returning to The Valley.

Despite his lack of end product and rumours of bids, I think Jerome Thomas may stay – I've a feeling Pards thinks he can get something different out of him, although hopefully more than a few bloody show-pony stepovers.

My feeling is that Marcus Bent will be the one to leave. According to the Charlton website, Andy Gray has already been given Bent's number 9 shirt, which is hardly an indication of desire to get him back from Wigan. It makes sense – Bent could command a similar fee to Gray, and with any luck we'll get some offers on the table soon.

The one thing I desperately hope is that clubs don't start sniffing around Andy Reid. Things have gone oddly quiet about his recovery from injury, and a £5mill+ bid from a Premiership side for possibly the most gifted midfielder in the league may be too attractive for the board to ignore...

Watford Without A King

2008-01-18T08:27:00.000Z

Charlton’s away trip to Watford tomorrow was given a boost by the sale of the Hornet’s top scorer, Marlon King.

King’s departure to Fulham may not have been a huge surprise due to the nature of the £5 million fee and the madness of the January window, but Watford are a team in a run of faltering form and will miss a player with a record of a goal every other game.

10 points ahead earlier in the season, they now stand 3 points off the top in 3rd position, and would be leapfrogged by the Addicks if we win by a 2-goal margin.

In contrast, Charlton seem like a team in the ascendancy after the recent tactical shift. The defeat at West Brom on Tuesday may have produced tired legs, but it also gave an indication of grit and determination we haven’t seen a lot of so far this season. With our record on the road, Watford could be a team for the taking tomorrow.

I expect Pardew to stick with the same shape, but I’ll wager on the re-introduction of Iwelumo at the expense of McLeod to add a bit of aggression to the attack. It’s possible that Semedo could replace Holland if his substitution on Tuesday was for anything other than tactical reasons.

Last year’s fixture saw us come from 2 down and almost snatch it with the last kick of the game – let’s hope the front pair tomorrow haven’t borrowed Lisbie’s shooting boots…

Hawthorns Heartbreak – WBA 2, Charlton 2 (4-3 pens)

2008-01-16T23:59:00.000Z

West Brom booked their place in the next round of the FA Cup, but it took extra time and penalties to knock out a resilient Charlton side. It was an enthralling tie – the hosts led 2-0 at one stage, only for the Addicks to fight their way back and find an injury time winner.

The Hawthorns may have only been half-full, the weather was atrocious, but none of this dampened the spirits of the 12,000 that turned up for the match.

Pardew opted to stay with the formation that has looked promising in previous games, but it was West Brom who opened the deadlock only 14 minutes in as Bednar finished from close range.

This didn’t appear to hinder Charlton’s resolve as they continually pressed for an equaliser. McLeod almost managed to get the ball past Kiely, and in the final minute of the half, Varney somehow managed to sky a shot over from 6 yards with the goal at his mercy.

Both sides came out with clear intent in the second half, and West Brom extended their lead 5 minutes in. Holland and Zhi made a mess of a clearance, allowing Morrison space to slot past Weaver from 15 yards. 2-0 to the home team, and a real test of character.

Iwelumo was introduced for the ineffective McLeod, and took only a minute to make an impact. Kiely failed to hold his shot on the break, and Ambrose was in the right place to mop up and halve the deficit.

Charlton continued to press for an equaliser, as West Brom started to look shaky and on the back foot. Dickson was introduced with 8 minutes remaining, and brought a fairytale ending to the 90 minutes. A cross from Zhi found Sam just outside the box, who then fed Dickson who made no mistake with a predator’s finish. What a fantastic end to normal time, and set up a nailbiting half an hour.

The first half of extra time passed largely without incident, as both teams sized each other up. Weaver made a fantastic save from MacDonald, which Bougherra duly tidied up.

The second half saw Charlton on the attack, and Dickson come close to a hat-trick. After taking the ball past the last man and Kiely, his attempt to roll the ball in from a ridiculous angle almost paid off, but sadly rolled into the side-netting. With only 3 minutes left he again broke past the last man, only to see his fierce angled shot come back off the post and rebound to safety off Kiely.

With neither side able to break the deadlock, it came down to penalties. Varney hit the crossbar, Weaver saved, Zhi missed, and it was all over – another FA Cup run over, but a lot of positives to take on the late drive home.

We played the best team in the league and came back – people had questioned our mental toughness, and we answered those critics. Dickson looks a real livewire and looks ready to play at this level. Varney covered every blade of grass despite his disappointments. Holland was phenomenal.

In summary, we can take a lot away from this game, even if it’s not a trip to Peterborough in a few weeks. Hopefully we can carry the determination and desire through to a tricky tie at Vicarage Road on Saturday, where a win could lift us as high as 3rd.

An Audience With Kiely

2008-01-15T18:13:00.000Z

Just wandered past the West Brom car park and bumped into none other than Deano! Sadly my wit deserted me at the crucial moment, so nothing more than a hello and a handshake.

Guess we'll find out in a few hours if it should've been more of a knuckle-cruncher!

M1/M6 Playlist

2008-01-15T10:29:00.000Z

I’m a big fan of away trips – it’s not so much the match, but the build-up itself. It’s always fun to check out a new ground and the surrounding area, and work out the chances of finding your windows intact when you return to your car after the match.

One of the best bits is the drive. Being a Londoner, getting above 30mph is a bit of a novelty for me – the thrill of driving at the NSL for a few hours with the music blasting out is ace.

My views on today’s match are pretty simple – same side as Saturday. No need for a change, plenty of time to rest before Watford, we need to get a good run-out. Far more important is sorting out my playlist for the M1/M6! Here’s what I’ll be checking out on the road:

Nouvelle Vague – downtempo bossa-nova covers of Love Will Tear Us Apart, Teenage Kicks, Just Can’t Get Enough – it’s ace, and a necessary bit of relaxation whilst I chew through my steering wheel getting out of London and the Luton roadworks

http://www.myspace.com/nouvellevague

Art Brut – Emily Kane is still one of the funniest tracks I’ve heard in the last few years. Top stuff & clever lyrics to boot

http://www.myspace.com/artbrut

Air Traffic – Fractured Life was my second favourite album of last year, excellent vocals and guitar hooks make it a kind of Muse-meets-Coldplay. But good. And I get to see them for free next week! ;)

http://www.myspace.com/airtraffic

Hot Chip – I missed out on The Warning in 2006, but easily the best album I bought last year. Simply brilliant, every track is different, if you don’t end up humming along to ‘Colours’ you’re not human

http://www.myspace.com/hotchip

Foals – Not actually released an album yet, but you have to hear ‘Balloons’. It’s like a New-Wave Dexy’s Midnight Runners after a one-night stand with the Klaxons, brushing past New Order hurriedly on the way out. My tip for 2008, they’re quality

http://www.myspace.com/foals

Let’s hope it’s done and dusted in normal time, I could do with being tucked in by 1am…

Who's Paying The Wages?

2008-01-14T14:00:00.001Z

Footballers have always been know for their off-the-field antics – George Best and Rodney Marsh were renowned playboys, Tony Adams, Paul Gasciogne and Paul McGrath have had documented problems, and we've even had a few issues of our own down the years.

Thing is, in this modern age of football where top players earn the GDP of Afghanistan in a week, can we carry on accepting it?

Yesterday I was told that members of a Premiership team (which I won't name for fear of my ass being sued off) were out in a bar the night before a match. Now, they could have been sitting down for a relaxing meal. They may have only been letting isotonic sports drinks down their overpaid gobs. But is this really what the fans are expecting from their players these days?

As the gulf between them and the average man in the street widens further, the level of respect the players have for their fans should increase comparatively. Supporters up and down the country struggle, scrimp and save to pay inflated ticket prices that line the pockets of those on the field. Surely the players should be putting in their all to earn this pay rise?

I'm one of the few lucky enough to say that my club has actually made football more affordable over the last 5 years, but I know this is far from the norm. I sit in the North Stand (cheapest part of the ground), and have enjoyed stable season ticket prices for this period. I've no kids either, so this massively increases my opportunity to support the team on the road.

Yet, I know there are stalwarts out there across the land that are used to paying far less comparatively in the past, even considering the effect of inflation. Today they can pay some enormous sums to watch their team. I wonder what their feelings are on value for money for watching what is still the same game, the same club, the same concept of 22 guys in shirts kicking around a bag of air for 90 minutes.

Has the standard improved in line with the cost? That's debatable, and also difficult to prove. The influx of money into the game has brought many foreign stars into the top-flight, but has also arguably been at the cost of development of home-grown talent as local academies close. The lower-league clubs who have been forced to raise prices to stay alive have long been the proving ground for young talent, but the fallout from TV deals over the years is leading many teams to the brink of extinction.

So, in the face of all this, the players need to make some serious consideration about their conduct. Sure, they found themselves in a position where wage inflation has spiralled out of control, rather than necessarily seeking it. It's not their fault that clubs are so desperate to sign players they'll put an average player on 40k a week. But they can at least act in a fashion that befits their artificially inflated status. Youngsters across the country see them as role models, and grown men shout their names in awe from the stands – this should be a two-way thing, right?

To be out in a bar the night before a match is disgraceful in my opinion, regardless of whether players are drinking alcohol or not. Tomorrow afternoon I'll be sacrificing an afternoon off work, £15 on a ticket, and around £35 on petrol to travel to West Brom for the FA Cup. If I were to bump into any of the team in a pub tonight, I'd be on the phone to Richard Murray straight a-bloody-way.

Footballers – please remember the efforts we put in to come and watch you play, and pay your wages. We sacrifice finances, relationships, and precious time to come and support you.

All we ask is for you to recognise this effort, and give it your all. After all, aren't the most satisfying things in life the ones you've worked the hardest for?

Playing With Intent – Charlton 4, Blackpool 1

2008-01-13T14:25:00.001Z

Well, it looks like Pardew's got it right – yesterday's match was one of the best Charlton performances I've seen in a long time, and the 4-1 scoreline barely underlined the superiority of the home side.

Sticking with the 4-4-2 that showed promise the previous week against West Brom, Blackpool couldn't cope with the constant waves of Charlton attacks. I lost count of the efforts on goal by the end of the match, which will hopefully raise the confidence levels of a team so bereft of creativity after the continued absence of Andy Reid.

Bougherra headed home the first as Blackpool gifted a free header in the box. Only minutes later, a great run from Varney saw him slip his shot between the Seasider's defenders and past ex-Addick Rachubka. 2-0 After 10 minutes, and Charlton were flying.

Blackpool threatened to make a game of it just 2 minutes later as Ben Burgess hit a cracking volley past a helpless Weaver, but Zheng Zhi restored the 2-goal cushion with a cool finish after more tireless work from Varney.

For once we were a team playing with intent, and we threatened to score even more. Youga and Viewtoakill were fantastic in pushing forward to pressure the Blackpool defence, and there were many times that Mou was playing ahead of Lloyd Sam to support the attack.

Youga was particularly impressive, playing with an air of nonchalance yet always being in the right place to challenge, and distributing the ball effectively. Other bloggers have noticed a similarity to Alex Song, and I'd echo that sentiment. A real find at left back, and he was under our noses all the chuffing time!

The star of the game for me though was the hardworking Zhi, and his tireless effort was rewarded with his second of the game in the 52nd minute. In a defensive lapse all too similar to the first goal, Bougherra crashed a header against the post and Zhi duly smashed home the rebound.

You really did get the feeling that we were capable of scoring on every attack, and it should have been 5 when substitute Thomas somehow blazed over an open goal from 6 yards after yet another great run from Varney.

Iwelumo and Dickson came on for the final 10 minutes, and I hope the starting line-up from now will be Varney +1 on the basis of this display. McLeod again disappointed and failed to threaten with 80 minutes on the pitch, and I think he has to get out on loan quick.

Iwelumo would be a great partner to Varney, but only if the team can stop the temptation to launch the ball to him at every opportunity. I'm sure Pards has made it clear to Big Chris that he's been out of the side purely on a team basis, and that it's always the intention for him to return when we start playing football again.

I think the corner could have been turned though after two good displays, and a lot of it is due to the nature and intent of the two wing-backs.

If you have players who want to keep the ball at their feet, it will stay there.

Half Time Oranges

2008-01-11T15:07:00.000Z

I can’t tell you too much positive stuff about Blackpool I’m afraid – I know bugger all about tomorrow’s opposition, but if they’re anywhere near as bad as the town it should be a walkover.

Luckilly this is a home game, as Blackpool actually ranked lower than Cardiff on my ‘away-trip-ometer’ when I looked at the fixtures list – nothing against Cardiff as a city, it’s just that I prefer to come back from an away game without resembling a pin-cushion. ;)

My last visit to Blackpool was a few years ago to meet a mate for the weekend, and what a time I had. Anyone with a romanticised view of this seaside town in recent years must be either bordering on insanity, or posses the honesty levels of a dodgy MP on donation day.

The seafront is littered with more tacky wares than a closing down sale in a pound shop, and the visitors are equally as cultured. I can’t recall ever seeing as many stag and hen parties in one place – you couldn’t move for drunken tossers staggering out of pubs at noon, and this wasn’t even a match day.

It’s a shame for the locals as the town could be so much nicer, and I do blame the influx of boozed-up cretins. Residents must be continually frustrated to the point of suicide by the weekly arrival of some of the shallowest swimmers in the gene pool.

Anyway, now I’ve managed to make myself welcome on the North West coast, on to the home side…

I hope Pardew intends to stick with the same side from the West Brom game, partly from a purely selfish viewpoint as I want to see what I missed out on last week. I’ve been calling for a serious look at 4-4-2 for ages, and a run out against a team unbeaten over the Christmas period will be another good test.

I expect Blackpool to turn up looking for a point, so a switch back to 4-5-1 would be a negative step suiting an away side hoping to snatch something on the break. Sticking with the shape from last week with the support of Viewtoakill and Youga on the wings should hopefully keep Blackpool pressed in their own half, something we’ve been crying out to do as a home team for so long.

I’m going for a home win on this one, and anything that can raise the morale further before a tough trip to West Brom on Tuesday will be a bonus.

Cotton Wool Culture

2008-01-08T21:47:00.000Z

Image c/o Wikipedia Commons

I spotted an absolute corker in the kitchen today. Whilst reaching for the washing tablets in order to fade what little colour remains in my home kit, a gem on the detergent box caught my attention.

“Do not ingest.”

I'm not making this up – take a look at your detergent back home and check it out for yourself. I mean, FFS – I know I was hungry, but what the hell is the world coming to when companies feel compelled to inform you not to dine on washing powder???

It gets worse though. After the disappointment of missing out on a non-biological meal, my attention turned to my fabric softener from the same manufacturer. Perfectly safe to drink apparently – it must be, no ingestion warnings! Although you're buggered if it gets in your eyes.

Ridiculous isn't it – if anyone is stupid enough to require a warning on one of those products, won't they need it on both!?!

Sadly, risk-aversion in business and establishments is becoming increasingly common in UK society, and this latest episode shouldn't come as much of a surprise. Practically anything that has the slightest potential to cause so much as a warm cuddle has to be plastered with disclaimers and safety information.

My beer tells me to “drink responsibly”. My iPod cheerfully tells me “don't steal music”. My packets of nuts informs me it “may contain nuts”... People are simply becoming sh*t-scared of getting sued these days, and it's getting plain daft.

In contrast I spent last Christmas in Thailand, and the place was like a breath of fresh air. OK, perhaps not literally – I felt like I'd smoked 40 B&H the moment I took my first gulp of Bangkok 'oxygen', but the place teaches you to take care of yourself.

Electric power cables dangle perilously above your head. Stalls with questionable hygiene (but incredible food) line the street. If you're feeling crazy, you can walk into a tiger sanctuary without cages. All things with varying degrees of risk in terms of Western society, but it makes you feel so much more alive. More importantly, you take responsibility for yourself.

It's always somebody else's fault for so many people these days. "Didn't get a warning - not my fault". No room for common sense in this place, no Siree. We're becoming a nation clinically insulated to risk, being led a merry jig by a motley crew of consumer-law killjoys all too busy suffocating us in cotton wool.

What people seem to be forgetting is the impact of common sense and learned behaviour. It's often said that “the man who makes the most mistakes learns the fastest”, but we're not even getting the chance these days.

Isn't this what evolution and progress is all about? Losing the ability to make a mistake robs a person of their ability to question, and to discover things for themselves. If this progresses further, the natural conclusion is to devoid yourself of making any kind of decision and live life on a perpetually dull auto-pilot.

Could this be reverse-evolution? With less mistakes and discoveries through choice, it's arguable that the basis for progress as we know it could be blighted.

I suppose at least we might see some honesty on our season tickets in future though...

“Ticket may provide only limited entertainment” - it could happen yet... ;)

Cashing In The Chips

2008-01-07T22:05:00.001Z

Well, I've made up for my plasticity after staying away from The Valley on Saturday – I've got my West Brom ticket for my first ever trip to The Hawthorns, and I've finally contracted Cup Fever.

Why? Well, it's the prospect of another away tie to come, and Peterborough lie in wait for the victors.

I always enjoy the road trips, and you've only got to look at this season's results to see why. So far I've had the fun of Stoke, Palace, Coventry, Hull, Preston and Norwich – Stoke result aside, that's a pretty good haul.

The team seems to dig in so much more away from The Valley – perhaps the pressure to perform isn't as great, the weight of expectation lessened, the support stronger... only the players can be sure what makes them tick.

One thing I know I can rely on against the Baggies next week is a bit of comeback from a certain comedian pictured above – Frank Skinner owes us one. He's the one on the right by the way - apologies for blanking out my boat-race, but us bloggers have to keep some level of mystery... ;)

I met him a few years ago in a London pub and he was a genuinely likeable guy. Didn't know me from Adam, but chatted for a while about random stuff, football, the 4-1 stuffing they dished out at The Valley the previous season, and staying up thanks to the Palace result. I wished Frank well for West Brom and he did the same for us.

Well Frankie boy, it's time for me to cash in my chips. I'll take a result next week please if that's alright with you. Nothing flashy necessary – no hat-tricks in 10 minutes like a certain Mr Earnshaw was gifted, a nice tidy 1-0 will suffice.

After all, you'll want to concentrate on the league won't you? Your mate Adrian Chiles must be gagging for West Brom to be back on Match Of The Day!

Come on matey, you know it makes sense... I've another away trip to plan!

Changes Rung – Charlton 1, WBA 1

2008-01-06T15:58:00.000Z

Image © Charlton Athletic

Looks like I missed out yesterday then – Viewtoakill, Youga, Varney, McLeod, Basey and Dickson were all given a chance, and by all accounts we actually played some football.

With a 4-4-2 formation the emphasis had to be about keeping the ball on the deck, especially considering a forward pairing who won't trouble too many defenders in the air.

I've no problem with playing it long occasionally, but after 10 games or so of constant hoofing it was time for the ball to be reacquainted with the Valley turf. Iwelumo's been great for us this season, but the temptation to lump the ball forward when he plays has clearly proved too great at times.

It's really promising to hear about Youga's performance – I'm yet to see him in a Charlton shirt, but the glowing reviews on the back of yesterday's result make him seem like a new signing for us.

The combination of him and Mouataouakil at the back could give us the attacking spark we so desperately need at the moment – despite the experience of the Mills/Powell pairing, their occasional bursts forward looked all too telegraphed at times due to their lack of pace.

We've looked flat on the wings for much of this season, and with Reid's prolonged absence, this new combination could provide a basis for the creativity we've needed. The linkup with Thomas and Sam on the flanks could provide a real scare to defences at this level. Equally important, the added excitement will help get a recently disillusioned crowd back on side.

The performance yesterday could aid the club as they consider their moves in the transfer window. Basey and Youga have the left covered, Mou and Bougherra can operate on the right, leaving the focus on improving the cover at centre-back. The midfield and strikers need a kick up the arse more than anything else at the moment, so I can't see too much movement in the dressing room this month.

So, hats off to Pards for having a go at it, and giving me another chance to take my first trip to The Hawthorns. Let's hope the kit-man uses his second chance and packs the right shorts this time... ;)

Case For The Kids

2008-01-05T10:17:00.001Z

I'm wondering if I'm going to regret missing the game today. There's rumours that Pardew's selection will have a whiff of a 'run out' for some of the younger fringe players, and I for one would wholeheartedly support this approach.

This may aggravate some fans who feel the cup is special and should be respected, but let's be honest – in the last few games has anyone really deserved to keep their place? We're always screaming to give the young blood a chance, and today is the ideal opportunity. Change it up and see what happens.

The reality is that the league is more important to us this season than the last few years. We've always done enough recently to cling to mid-table or thereabouts in the Prem and looked forward to the prospect of cup glory, which sadly always ended in miserable failure.

Things are different now. We're in real danger of going stale at the moment, and are playing like a dull mid-table team a league lower than we're comfortable with. The opportunity of playing a team like West Brom with a changed line-up is a gift right now, and one that should be taken.

If we were playing a team from another division, higher or lower, we'd simply be playing to avoid embarrassment. We'd try hard to grind out a result and learn nothing from it. Playing the best team in our league totally removes the pressure – we've an idea of what we're up against, and can try out some different tactics.

In fact I'm kicking myself right now that my day will consist of 2 trips to Essex and back in the car (which passed with flying colours by the way!), rather than an afternoon out at The Valley casting an eye over a youthful side hungry to stake a place in the first team.

Today could possibly see any of Viewtoakill, Racon, Dickson, Christiansen, Arter, Youga, Sankofa and Basey, some of which are players I won't get a chance to see normally unless I get off my lazy arse and finally attend a reserves match. Varney could get a chance to shine in a standard 4-4-2, and McLeod may have a shot at showing his goal at The Hawthorns wasn't just a fluke.

Having said all that, Pardew might still opt for the same boring toss we've been subjected to for the last few games. I urge you Pards – take a risk today! No-one's expecting us to win, you've seen what happens when the Woolwich Rejects play the kids! Be a devil...

There's 4½ hours til kick-off as I write this Pards, you've still got time...

Anyone For A Sing Song?

2008-01-04T09:57:00.000Z

There's been a lot of talk of late about stadium atmosphere after Ferguson's latest lambasting of the Old Trafford prawn sandwich brigade faithful, and it's interesting to take a look in our own back yard at The Valley.

Charlton have never been flash enough for prawn sandwiches (a rip-off Wimpy joint at best), have never really been fashionable, but are well known for being friendly, welcoming, and passionate about what we stand for. Along with Richard Murray's investment, the fans are how the club is still in existence today.

We're often criticised for being one of the quieter clubs, and although there are times when we create a lot of noise, we do sometimes emulate the North-London based Woolwich rejects of Arsenal in the library stakes.

The clichés are always there about the effect of the 'twelfth man', but I do believe it has an effect. However, in customary hypocritical form, I'll put my hands up as being one of the quiet ones a lot of the time. I'll happily sing Valley Floyd Road, Red Army, CAFC, SAP etc, but I'd never be the one starting a song and won't always join in.

You see, sometimes I just want to concentrate on the game. I don't always feel I want to sing, but there are other times when I feel the team needs a bit of a spur and I'll pipe up. If I'm quiet it doesn't necessarily mean I'm not backing the lads.

Who's responsible for the noise though? If the team puts in an abject display and doesn't appear to be trying, why should we even bother? You can't really win with this one – if you don't sing, it will all too often be noted by the manager that we're not getting behind the team and it becomes 'our problem'. But are we responsible for the ones creating the spark, or does this lie with the players and the manager?

Personally, I think it rests on the attitudes of the team. A flash of brilliance, a neat turn, a clever pass, chasing down their man, a crunching tackle, just bloody trying – that will get me going, get me out of my seat, and squawking like a demented reject from X Factor. Alternatively, if no-one on the pitch is giving a toss, I'm not sure they deserve it. It shouldn't take a song from people getting paid a tiny fraction of a player's salary to spark them into it in the first place - these are professionals who should want to win.

Cutting off our noses we may be in such instances – but as much as a football fan has the right to revel and join in the success, don't we also have the right to show our dissatisfaction? The Wycombe cup game last year was a case in point – after such a disgraceful display, if it wasn't for the berating of the crowd it's arguable we may have missed out on getting Pardew in before Christmas.

I'm no fan of the 'boo boys' by any means – I can't stand it when people start booing after the fist misplaced pass, but on that bleak match last December I'll put it in the 'time and place' bracket.

What can the club do to help though? For a start, there has to be the acceptance that not everyone wants to sing through the game. After their relocation to Eastlands, Manchester City attempted to generate atmosphere by introducing a 'singing section'. Despite fears such a move may keep the noise isolated to a single area, by all reports it seems that this has led to noise spreading throughout other areas as people are more confident to join in.

Whilst I'm not keen on having designated singing sections, one thing I would be keen on is the re-introduction of standing areas in the ground. This would have a number of benefits to the club and supporters:
- capacity would increase
- prices should reduce as a result
- standing generally encourages more vocal support
- people who want to stay seated can, and without the problem of persistent standers

One thing I definitely don't want to see is the relocation of away supporters. I'm very proud that Charlton carry on the tradition of giving away fans their own end behind the goal, and I find it sickening that clubs such as Newcastle and more recently Aston Villa are putting away supporters in less 'intimidating' areas.

It's the cowards way out isn't it? Hide the away fans, keep them out of sight, away from the penalty areas and places where they could have a stronger effect on the match and have an influence on officials. In fact, I positively welcome vocal away support – the banter can be excellent and I think in many ways it spurs us on to give the same backing to our own team.

The reaction at the Blackpool game next week will be an interesting one after tomorrow's result – if West Brom knock us out (as I expect), the league means more to us than ever.

Let's hope the player's feel the same way – I could do with a good old sing song...

Wish Me Luck...

2008-01-03T18:31:00.000Z

There's a lot of things that scare us in life – checking the New Year bank balance, a trip to the dentist, commitment, the worrying red-print envelopes in the letterbox, bumping into Jo Brand at the end of a hunger strike...

Essentially, the root of all fear is the element of the unknown, and the anticipation of the event is often worse than the result itself. The unscientifically proven fact to counter all your fear is that the worst very rarely happens.

We all think we're the unluckiest people in the world don't we? The weight of everything on our shoulders, just shuffling from one head-bollocking catastrophe to the next. But think about it – things are never really that bad, are they?

For a start, bad things are mostly your own doing – it's a rare occurrence that the actions of someone else can totally screw you up. Being the architect of your own undoing is the thing that gets you grabbing for the noose quicker than a Texas high-court judge.

”Why did I say that???” “Why did I do that???”

The self-loathing makes the pain so much harder – it's far easier if things are outside of your control, or if it's something you have no understanding of. Out of your hands, no responsibility. ”I don't know any better – not my fault”.

Well, you'd think it would make things easier – but I'm terrified about what could happen tomorrow. My car is up for a service and it's first MOT...

You may have read my story a week or so back about my dabble with the dentist, but baby – that has nothing on this. My last stint at the garage cost me more than 500 big ones, and with a post-Christmas bank account looking emptier than a supermodel's head on Mastermind, it's a bit of a concern.

Again, it's the unknown that's scaring me here. My knowledge of automobile engineering is up there with Ricky Butcher's outlook on Quantum Physics. I haven't got a chuffing clue how a car works – as far as I know you simply turn the key and put your foot down. And avoid hitting things.

I'm just waiting for that phone-call from the garage informing me that my something-fluid is low, or the gear-something needs replacing, or the jizzmatic-wazzmadoodle is borked. They could be making the whole sodding thing up, charge me Northern Rock's government debt, and I'd be none the wiser. In fact, I'll probably even thank them for it and buy them flowers for their trouble, like an idiotic car-maintenance-phobic sado-masochist.

So, wish me luck on this one – anything fishy I get charged for, I'll let you know. And you can chuckle your spleen out about what a gullible, shagwitted auto-luddite I am.

Transfer Window Tactics

2008-01-02T13:24:00.000Z

Image c/o Wikipedia Commons

The New Year not only heralded the start of 2008 and our first spanking, it also ushers in the ludicrous bi-annual nonsense of the Transfer Window.

A lot of managers have spoken out against this player merry-go-round, and I have to agree wholeheartedly with them. There's no good reason for it, the only justification I can think of is at a buerocratical level to synchronise the process across leagues and regions.

I also presume the authorities believe this will minimise potential player unrest and tapping up. The thing is, transfer talk still forms the daily staple of every newspaper, as the agents do their day-to-day business of blowing tempting tit-bits up the ar**holes of a few lazy "can't think of a better story today" sports journalists.

Anyway, back at Planet Valley, I have a suggestion for Pards and the Charlton board now we can officially conduct player business again.

It's a simple - Don't sell anyone. Anyone. Not even the tea lady.

I know we're a selling club, but practically every attacking player we've ever sold bloody scores against us. In the last 5 years I can think of Defoe, Parker, Jensen, and now even Kevin bloody Lisbie is in on the act. Even Danny Shittu hit the bar against us in pre-season a few years back at QPR, and Bryan Hughes had one disallowed earlier in the season at the KC.

We're jinxed aren't we? Without those goals from Jensen and Defoe, Fulham could have gone down and we might even have stayed up.

If you're listening Mr Murray - I know we're a bit skint after the recent financial report, but please don't sell anyone! Unless we really, really have to of course. If that's the case, you can offload them to anyone except:
- Any other Championship club
- Derby, Wigan or Boro
- Swansea, Forest or Leeds

At this rate we'll be playing them all next year - please spare me another Lisbie moment!!

Happy New Year? Charlton 1, Colchester 2

2008-01-01T23:46:00.000Z

It seems the New Year does bring some good tidings - the excess of the previous night kept me away from The Valley, a major blessing combined with the reports of today's performance.

Two goals from Kevin Lisbie (who else...) sank us in the first half, and by the sounds of it he could have walked off with the matchball. Perhaps he remembered where he was after the second and starting missing again.

Varney got one back just before half time, but continual reliance on woeful long ball tactics continues to be our undoing. I could bemoan the absence of Reid continually, but what's the point if none of the team are prepared to take the responsibility.

It also makes me question what Pards is actually up to at Sparrows Lane at the moment. We started the season with a promise of playing good football, but mixing it up with the long ball where necessary. Unfortunately, the mixture now has a consistency of 1-part 'attractive passsing' against 99-parts 'hoof at all costs'.

I'd had high hopes for the start of 2008, and looking at the predictions for the other teams around us I wasn't too far out. However, my optimism clearly hasn't spread to the pitch, as we find ourselves looking over our shoulders at an increasingly large chasing pack.

The truth is we're now in a real fight to keep a playoff spot - if the results go against us in our next match we could be as low as 9th and 1 point ahead of Cardiff. I seem to remember placing them in a relegation scare only 2 months ago, which is a sobering thought...

The Joy Of Sales

2007-12-30T17:26:00.000Z

Everyone loves a bargain don't they - the feeling of getting one up on the retailer when buying something you've wanted for ages can't be beaten, can it?

Thing is, it's not always how it works in the sales. I can only remember one 'bargain' in the last 5 years - a Junk DeLuxe cashmere sweater for £20 that I've worn a grand total of, er, once. That's how things work in the sales though - the prices drop and all of a sudden we rush in like rats fleeing from a sinking ship.

"Up to 70% off!!!", "Bargains!!!", "1-day 50% special" are the kind of things we're used to seeing this time of year. But of all the purchases in this period, how much do people actually want? We're a nation obsessed with a bargain, and live in a world where price is king amongst all it's subjects.

Case in point - the Next sale. Never before have I seen such an abhorrent display of the worst side of human nature as when those red posters go up. I've literally seen people fighting over underpriced tat - it's like the bastard offspring of a jumble sale and a Nato food dump in Basra, multiplied by a hundred with an LSD-laced amphetamine haze thrown in for free.

These sales go against all principles of shopping. The relaxed environment is non-existent, you can't try anything on, and there is no aspiration to a purchase - your selection is restricted to one area, the stuff that nobody else wanted over the last 12 months.

I discussed this at length with friends who are, for reasons unbeknown to sanity, fans of these events.

Idiot: "It's great - I got all this stuff for £200!!!"
Me: So, would you have worn any of this if it were full price?
Idiot: "Oh, god no..."
Me: (Proceeds to smash head against table until a bloody mush in despair at what the world is coming to)

There's no logic to it is there? People are spending considerable sums of money on utter shyte that they would never even consider paying full price for. If that's the case, why not spend £200 on 1 or 2 items that you absolutely love, rather than purchasing utter crap on the sole basis that it's cheap?

The shops may as well be hanging out signs saying "Our purchasers f*cked up - please help us shift this stuff!". The January sales have become an annual event representing nothing more than an unashamed celebration by the retailers of their own personal failure. "Biggest Ever Sale!" may as well read "Biggest Ever Ballsup!". Yet we still can't see through it.

The truth is it's all about simple psychology. In a sale, people never see the purchase price - they always focus on the saving. "Look how much I've saved - this is a bargain!!!. They fail to consider the fact that they would never have intended to purchase it in the first place, and the more damning fact that the bastard retailers are overcharging so much that they can afford to sell at this price and still draw a profit.

It will never happen, but I can only hope that for one year at least that people see through this piss-streak of a marketing facade. Boycott the sales - you don't really need any of that stuff, do you? If you wanted it that much you'd have paid full-price and be happy.

Fair enough - there are cases where people can't afford things until it becomes a sale item. I can accept this as their aspiration is clear - they want the item, yet can't afford it. But this is the exception rather than the rule.

Think about it - how many things have you ever bought in a sale that you would even consider or want at the original purchase price? I can't think of a single 'Sale' purchase that has ever been so much as a fleeting consideration in a non-sale environment.

Don't let price be your marker in the murky world of consumerism - if price is your aspiration rather than the item itself, you'll never be comfortable with a purchase.

Looking Over The Shoulder - Leicester 1, Charlton 1

2007-12-29T23:17:00.000Z

Tricky one to write here - not only couldn't I make the game at The Crisp Bowl, I forgot to record The Championship and missed the goals on Sky Sports News. So - in the absence of any first-hand information whatsoever, I'll concentrate on the result and those around us.

It appears that Paddy McCarthy is keen on extending my seasonal humble pie intake by putting in yet another stirring performance. A goal in the last minute against a former club would be in any player's scrapbook, but for a player under the microscope from his own fans it must be even sweeter. Paddy looked shaky at the start of the season, but he's now showing glimpses of becoming a part of this team - a real 'Charlton Type'.

As far as our results go, we still sit 5th in the table, and have neither lost nor gained on Stoke and Plymouth who played out a draw yesterday. Our point at Norwich is also looking more of a point gained after Wolves earned the same result.

What's worrying me more is the resurgence of Crystal Palace. Warnock has turned the team around in recent weeks, and a run of 4 wins and 12 unbeaten places them only 3 points behind us. This only serves to demonstrate the importance of consistency in this division, and how our hit-and-miss form of late could hurt us dearly if it continues - only 4 points separates 6th to 10th.

With this margin of error, there can be no mistakes against Colchester on Tuesday - 3 points will be a necessity against the team propping up this crazy league.

Re-Appearing London

2007-12-27T23:14:00.000Z

Image c/o Wikipedia Commons

I noticed an odd thing on my Boxing Day drive to Norwich – there was a strange patch of dark green on the Satnav screen. On closer inspection outside the car, my suspicions were correct – there’s green stuff outside of London.

Forests, scenery, horizon… it was lovely! All of a sudden I felt a million miles from home on that stretch of the A11. And I liked it.

I love London – I’ve lived here for 7 years now and I honestly do miss it whenever I’m away for a few days. Some things do get you down though, mainly the point that you can never see more than 20 foot in front of you at any one time. Sod never being more than 3 metres away from a rat (if you believe the legend), I’m constantly never less than 3 miles from seeing a horizon.

I envy the dwellers of Muswell Hill, Primrose Hill and Alexandra Palace – the views from those places looking back at the City can be incredible. It’s breathtaking at times, and shows how much you miss when you’re a mindless automaton constantly shoe-horned in between buildings and careers in a quest for greasy-pole remuneration.

It’s one of the main reasons why cities such as Manchester, Glasgow and Edinburgh are so appealing to me as an alternative. You never feel too enclosed or shut in, and a horizon or a hillside is only a turn of a shoulder away.

Times are changing in the City of London though – despite many construction companies kicking off numerous building works in the Square Mile, the majority are currently in the demolition phase and the results can be quite striking.

Walking out of Liverpool Street Station, through Bishopsgate Church Yard, and up to Houndsditch previously presented you with nothing but a drab grey building in a traffic island. But with this building gone, the view is quite a sight for your average City dweller.

All of a sudden the corner of the City’s busiest street has a sense of scale, impact, a presence, a scene. It really is a lovely view looking down that quiet, tree-lined alleyway into the bustle of the City. Unfortunately, it’ll be a building site again within 3 months for the next episode of poorly architected tat.

Make the most of it while it lasts – I know it’s ‘not the done thing’ to stare at anything other than the pavement the moment you leave the house, but in a City that has grown so organically over time you’ll be amazed what you might see today…

Red Mist Curse Continues - Norwich 1, Charlton 1

2007-12-26T21:14:00.001Z

Image © Charlton Athletic

I've always had a bit of a soft spot for Norwich, and despite a pretty dire match today at Carrow Road I enjoyed my day out. Ten years ago I was a student there and used to go often for matches, although it did help that they let me in for a fiver!

Carrow Road used to be a pretty horrible place – the ground was okay enough, but the area was surrounded by derelict factories and warehouses. Ten years on and Norwich's ground is abound with nice riverside flats, shops, and bars – the stadium finally feels like part of the city, and it's nice to see the transformation.

Unfortunately for Charlton, Sodje decided to try and make both his legs part of a City player today, and picked up the eleventh red card of his career as a result. Eleven red cards!?!? That's one stat I was pretty unaware of, although the way he stomped off the field before the ref had shown a card was enough of an indicator of a temperament that has been well shielded up until now.

Charlton were actually putting in a classic away performance until that point – the workmanlike 4-5-1 stayed, but with my preferred midfield 3 of Zhi, Holland and Semedo. Zhi got us off the mark with some nice footwork after being found in space by Semedo, lashing home from the edge of the box for a 1-0 lead after 20 minutes.

It was almost a carbon copy of the goal at Preston, and lifted a quiet away support to give the game the spark it desperately needed. Until that point, it seemed it wasn't just the fans who appeared weighed down with seasonal excess.

The turning point came only ten minutes later with Sodje's sending off, but Norwich still struggled throughout the game to break down ten men. Chances were limited to pot-shots and one excellent save from Weaver, but Roeder's side showed nothing of the form that had them unbeaten in 6.

Pardew introduced McLeod in the second half in place of an ineffective Iwelumo, but sadly the former MK Dons striker couldn't get into the game despite numerous opportunities. The writing is on the wall now for Fizzy Izzy, as he was unceremoniously subbed for Thierry Racon for the final few minutes.

Norwich eventually squared the match from a corner with 15 minutes remaining, but the tense finale which should have ensued never came to a head. The game simply petered out, leaving the travelling fans a long trip down the A11 to the Christmas leftovers.

I think we've found our level now in this division – despite my optimism earlier this week of being top-3 come the New Year, we clearly aren't automatic promotion material. Be it the lack of Reid, the stupid dismissals, the long-ball tactics... we just don't have the quality of West Brom or the doggedness to grind out a result like Stoke or Watford.

We'll be in the mix come May, but I'd be betting on a nailbiter in the playoffs if our season is to end on any kind of positive note.

Humble Pie of The Day: Quick mention for Paddy McCarthy – he's taken a lot of flack from me, but played really well today – keep it going fella!

Merry Christmas From The Training Ground

2007-12-25T12:32:00.000Z

Image c/o Wikipedia Commons

Gone With The Wind on the telly, mum sorting out the sprouts and carrots, the presents, a crate of London Pride with my name on it... that's what Christmas is all about isn't it?

Well, if I carry on writing today I'll no doubt find my own 'chestnuts' roasting on an open fire, so I'd better get back into it.

Quick prediction for tomorrow - Norwich 6, Charlton 7. Crazy I may be, but it's Christmas eh? ;)

A Christmas Wii

2007-12-24T22:19:00.000Z

Image c/o Wikipedia Commons

It's been a bit of a year for Nintendo – their Wii and DS consoles have continually exceeded sales expectations throughout the year, and getting hold of one for Christmas has been as easy as prising a cake from the pudgy digits of Rick Waller.

Luckily for me, I'm one of the smug gits who picked one up a few months ago. Thing is, it's been sat in it's box gathering dust for a while. Until now that is.

You see, on it's own the Wii is actually pretty boring. There's only so much of Wii Sports you can get through without finding popping out your eyeballs with a toothpick more enjoyable. With new games costing 35-40 smackers I'd rather be accelerating my liver's demise at a rate of knots than spend a night in waggling a remote control.

I am being a tad harsh on it though, as it is probably the most inventive games system since the Atari. The control system is simply a work of art – point/flip/swipe/waggle/hurl the remote around, and your cutestified on-screen alias will do the same. Hit a home-run, swing for a hole-in-one, bowl a strike – it's fascinating stuff. For the first five minutes at least.

It's not until you watch someone else play that you realise although your on-screen persona may be hitting a ball with the sublime grace of Federer, in reality you're bearing more of a resemblance to an adolescent teen furiously masturbating over a copy of Nuts.

This is where the fun comes in though, and I don't mean in the self-abuse stakes. Having a Wii at home for Christmas is an absolute hoot. Watching your Mum, Sister, Nan and Granddad attempt to play Wii Sports provides non-stop YouTube moments – I can't remember the last time I pissed my lungs out laughing, and you think you'd recall such an occasion. I'm still taking stick for getting knocked out by my Mum in boxing and beaten by my Nan in her first bash at ten-pin bowling!

It might be impossible to buy without getting shafted by the shysters with inflated prices on Tottenham Court Road. It might go through more batteries than a bored housewife after a delivery from Ann Summers. You might never buy another game for it.

But if you can get one back for the family at Christmas, my god it's worth it – pure comedy gold.

Time For 4-4-2...

2007-12-23T20:12:00.000Z

Image c/o Wikipedia Commons

Hmmm.... not the best of displays yesterday was it? No fight, no commitment, it was diabolical. I don't usually scream much at games but I came away yesterday sounding like Rod Stewart after 60 B&H.

If we learnt anything against Hull it's how much we rely on Andy Reid. Pardew has often been criticised for playing Reid in a role where everything has to go through him, but on the face of it you can now see why.

The thing that disappointed me the most was that nobody else took the step up to take responsibility. This was Ambrose's chance to be the playmaker. Thomas's chance to show he's not just a one-trick-stepover-pony. Sam's chance to show his skills against a side who would be gunning for him after the trip to the KC earlier in the year.

But what happened? Nothing. I can't remember a single decent move, no invention. All we did was resort to lumping it up to Iwelumo and hoping his flick-ons would reach, er, nobody in the first half and a confidence-shot McLeod in the second.

What I don't understand is why we didn't simply go for it. We were playing at home in a formation that relies on creativity to get the wide men supporting a lone striker, yet we were missing the vital element. If we started with a 4-4-2 of McLeod and Iwelumo it would have given us something different.

For a start, we should have played a central midfield pairing of Zheng Zhi and Semedo. They both have the tackling and the ability to play a telling pass forward, whereas Holland is forever looking sideways. This would have given the opportunity to play 2 from Ambrose, Thomas or Sam to push the Hull defence down the wings and support the forward paring.

We'll see what Pardew has in store for my trip to Norwich on Boxing Day, but I really hope he just goes for it. A point was worth nothing to us yesterday – if we want to have any hope of getting out of this division we need to start showing some desire to attack and scare teams. People fear playing West Brom – we need to be the same.

If the opposition keeps thinking they can turn us over at The Valley, we're in trouble before we've even started.

Any Players Turn Up Today? Charlton 1, Hull 1

2007-12-22T22:38:00.000Z

Image © Charlton Athletic

One thing I can thank the team for today after this terrible match is the fact I've got bugger-all to write from it. Until Bougherra equalised in the second half, our best and only effort on target came from a wayward back-header from a Hull player.

I'm not sure what's worse – the fact that Hull couldn't beat a team down to ten men for 20 minutes, or the fact that we can't beat a poor Hull side that can't beat a team with ten men!

What the hell was going on today? It was as if both teams were thinking more about shooting to Oxford Street after the match to finish the Christmas shopping. Did either side actually turn up?

Lack of efforts was worsened only further by a clear lack of effort. In fact, there was only one Charlton player putting in any effort at all – Danny Mills doing his best to get every Hull player sent off.

I've been a big fan of Mills, but today he showed the ugly side of his game that you hoped he'd left behind at his previous clubs. He made the most of every bad tackle, fell over at each opportunity, and spent more time talking to the Ref than Pardew had to the team about tactics. He got his just desserts in true pantomime when Bates finally had enough and sent him off.

It wasn't only Mills at it though – Phil Brown had clearly instructed his players to waste time at every available opportunity, it was disgraceful. At one point it took a full 30 seconds for a simple throw-in, and to his discredit Bates did nothing to keep this behaviour under control.

Hull took the lead after Frazier Campbell was the lucky recipient of a ricochet off the Charlton defence as McCarthy attempted to clear. It was a cool finish past Weaver, and should have been the spur the game needed.

The home team didn't appear to have read the script today though, and never got into the game. Reid's absence highlighted the lack of creativity in the rest of the team, the sideways-passing of the Curbishley days rearing it's ugly head. This was the ideal opportunity for Ambrose to stake a claim to the playmaker role, but put in another anonymous appearance.

Another downside to Mills' sending off was Chris Dickson missing out on a much anticipated debut. The match was all set for him to come on with 20 minutes to go, but instead we had to make do with ten men instead.

An early Christmas hangover or the shape of things to come? We'll find out on Boxing day...

Dental Dillema

2007-12-20T13:23:00.001Z

Image c/o Wikipedia Commons

I used to love going to the Dentist when I was a kid. The stickers, the free kids toothpaste, the lollipop... it was ace. Unfortunately I eventually grew up and saw the flipside after I had my first of many run-ins with 'The Drill'...

My biggest whammy came after a 3-year exile from Dentistry. 6 fillings and a few hundred quid lighter, my wariness of the profession began. But I thought I had the beating of him this time around, yes Siree...

After my latest 3-year stay of execution from a check-up, I prepared myself by taking out a Dental Insurance policy. £184 smackers down, I'd hedged my bets against the huge bill I was anticipating. Brimming with confidence, ready for anything, I came away sorely dissapointed from the surgery yesterday.

He didn't fill a chuffing thing.. Not even a bit of root canal or the odd crown. No replacement teeth.

What the hell had I wasted my cash on?

It got me thinking about Insurance and the philosphy behind it. Effectively, whenever you take out an insurance policy you're betting against yourself. Be it loss from a result of your stupidity, bad luck or otherwise, your hedging your bets against a positive outcome.

Isn't that behaviour frowned upon in betting circles? I got a lot of stick only last month for betting on a Croatia victory, how is insurance any different?

Then you consider how the setup works. You only ever get 'odds' (payout figures) for when you are at a personal loss - many of which cash alone cannot repair. At that point you have to go though all the hurdles of a claims process in the hope that the result of your misery can be turned around with a payout.

Personally, I think the whole insurance concept should change, or at least offer the odds the other way around for fairness. Why can't you take out a policy that rewards you for not getting in trouble? I'd like to take out a bet that I don't end up with a life threatening disease, don't get mugged, or my house doesn't get burgled or water damaged.

Why should the Insurance companies have all the fun setting the terms? We always know the bookie always wins, yet we've let them get away with it all these years! Why should we stand for this scam any longer?

My suggestion - Car Insurance excepted, sod the lot of it. Don't take any. I spend something like £600 on various policies, I'd rather take control of the odds and take it down William Hill's instead.

Think different, bet on a positive outcome - it's much more fun isn't it?

Quality Flu Time

2007-12-18T13:26:00.000Z

Image © Lotus Head

I usually enjoy my time out of the office – the lazy lie in, the cooked breakfast, the planned (or otherwise) leisurely pace of a day out... it's bliss isn't it?

Then you get the flipside – the enforced time off from a bout of 'man flu'. The male equivalent of labour pains, it kicks you in the guts flispside onto the couch and leaves you in agony for the day. It's the weakness that gets me the most – I could barely muster the energy to reach for the TV remote, lest change channels.

My entertainment in question yesterday was the controversial Jeremy Kyle show. A lot's been said about Kyle's style of programming – a judge only recently referred to it as 'human bear baiting'.

"8 potential dads", "Pregnant and Penniless", "2nd DNA test - 2nd time you're a potential dad!", "You let me bond with your baby – now I might not be the dad!" were all parts of the 'DNA Results Special'. I won't doubt for a second that it's crass, trash TV, but a solid watch for two enforced hours on the death-couch gave me some more time to assess the format.

On the face of it the show is no different to a Vanessa, Trisha, Springer, Kilroy, or any other generic 'personality' talk show. All the common elements are there – cheerleading studio audience, idiotic guests who believe airing their dirtiest laundry on TV will be their salvation, and a host full of patronising self importance.

But Kyle's show is different in the way he controls and develops the 'plots', because that's what all features on the show become. Kyle cleverly unravels the story the way he wants, to an often eventful conclusion, and holds all the cards throughout the show (quite literally - most of them are DNA or lie detector results).

Springer, Trisha et al rely on the participation of the studio audience to pass pathetic self-righteous judgements on the depressing situations of the guests. This doesn't happen with Kyle – he's in complete control. He is Judge, Jury, and Executioner. He somehow holds authority over the guests through a combination of sheer nastiness, assertions, and occasional compassion. This is all the more remarkable for a man with the appearance of a less attractive Daniel Craig on the Atkins diet.

The thing is, it doesn't take a lot of intelligence for someone like Kyle to spot the underlying problems in practically all these situations. 'Families at war' is the usual outcome, but Kyle carefully allows each participant to gradually incriminate themselves through a set of leading questions. When he doesn't get the reaction he's after, he'll berate, antagonise and chastise them until he can provoke a reaction.

It's like a one-man good cop/bad cop routine that can be quite compelling at times – as a viewer I end up mentally switching off when the latest shallow swimmer from the gene pool starts talking, then re-engage for Kyle's often cutting commentary.

There's often nothing endearing about the guests to feel sorry for, other than wonder about the society that produced them in the first place. As each one comes on stage more fired up and angry than the last, they lose the opportunity for any moral high ground and further compound it by discharging a barrage of violent abuse. Kyle knows this, and is happy to shit-stir this cauldron of bile until it overflows.

So why do people go on these shows? I think history has shown us one thing – a lot of stupid people will do anything to get on TV. 15 years back The Word had people eating sheep's testicles, snogging 80-year-old men and eating pubic hair on a Jacobs cream cracker. Rather than simply being broken, the boundaries had been smashed around the face with a crowbar and bathed in salt.

As a result, shows like Kyle's no longer have the shock value they would have had so long ago, and are now an established part of the daytime TV ensemble for the forseeable future.

Still – if you're stuck to the couch with a fever and a tin of chicken soup, there's a lot worse you can do!

It's Not All Doom And Gloom...

2007-12-17T00:13:00.000Z

The table at New Year's Day?

I was a bit disappointed after Saturday's game – after getting back to 2-2 I really though we could nick a point with what is effectively a crocked team. However, we get caught out too easily at the back and sadly it looks like this really is a season too far for Powell.

If Pards gets a bit of luck with the injuries to Iwelumo and Reid, the Christmas period could be a crucial time to get back on track. We've 4 games in a period of 10 days which means 12 points up for grabs. Looking at the fixtures, many of our promotion rivals will be taking points off each other along the way.

Our lineup is Hull at home, Norwich away, Leicester away, and Colchester at home. Despite our recent home form, I reckon wins against Hull and Colchester are very good possibilities. If we can continue our away form there's no reason why we can't nick a win and a point on the road. Tempting fate is never a good thing in football, but I can't see us losing those games.

West Brom have tricky away ties at Stoke and Ipswich, and also have to face Bristol City at home. Stoke have to play away at Plymouth, who have a habit of picking up a result.

Watford are anyone's guess at the moment. Every season The Championship follows the same pattern – one team makes an early season lead of 10 points, but by Christmas they've been reeled back in. West Brom finally caught them up yesterday and Boothroyd has a real job on his hands to get things going again. I fancy them to lose away to Sheffield Wednesday, but they should pick up points at home against Cardiff and QPR.

So – if my predictions are correct, I reckon we can start the New Year just 2 points off the top. I reckon five teams will battle it out for the top 2 spots, but for me West Brom will have as good as wrapped up the title by April.

Second place is definitely up for grabs though, with no team clearly having the consistency to see them through at the moment. If Pardew can get the run of results right and strengthen the personnel in January, we've got as good a chance as any.

Have a bash yourself on the BBC Predictor – see if you can get things as wrong as I know doubt will have! Seventh place anyone? ;)

Predictor: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_div_1/predictor/default.stm

Suffering For The Arts

2007-12-16T23:09:00.000Z

Image © Gregor Younger

Wildlife programmes show us some fantastic scenes that only a few of us would ever be lucky enough to see in real life. The desert scenes of stampeding wildebeest, the hunt of the big cats, the undersea world – displays of nature can be genuinely breathtaking.

I've been lucky enough to go on Safari once and got close to elephants, giraffes and a lion amongst others. It's a pretty amazing and humbling experience to see such creatures in their natural environment, and is something I seriously recommend if you're fortunate enough to be in such a place.

One of the dafter things I did on my travels was a shark dive. The format was simple – get on a boat, sail to the most shark-infested part of South Africa, slip into a wetsuit, and jump into the water. In a cage of course.

You'd expect cages in these scenarios to be huge, overbearing pieces of machined steel, build to cope under the most extreme physical conditions. Bombproof. However, the cage I was due to jump into looked like it was made out of a combination of chicken wire and elastic bands left on the street by a postman.

Seeing as a Great White Shark can bite through bone like scissors through paper, my confidence was slightly on edge as I jumped off the boat into my tinfoil-thin shield. Coming face to face with 8 sharks in this situation left me feeling as protected as a wrapped Quality Street dangling in a Weightwatchers convention.

Luckily I survived the experience unscathed, and it was amazing. However, this was something I did for fun – some people put themselves in these situations for a living.

Steve Irwin is the most obvious example, who sadly met an untimely demise at the end of a stingray barb. When you consider his day job consisted of winding up snakes and pissing off crocodiles for fun, he's got to rank as pretty unlucky to be only the third recorded stingray death in Australian waters.

My favourite nature nutter isn't the loveable Aussie with a deathwish fetish though, it's our very own Sir David Attenborough. The voice of British natural history programming for more than 50 years, he's a national treasure.

Watching Parkinson's last ever show this evening (don't ask – the snooker finished early) I was surprised to see a feature on one of Sir Dave's more adventurous exploits. It involved a spitting cobra, protection in the form of a plastic visor, and generally annoying the f*ck out the snake.

After gleefully teasing a reptile with the spitting range of Roy Hattersley and poison that can permanently blind a man in seconds, the cobra took the bait and unleashed its venom over him. Unfazed, with the snake still there, Dave takes his visor off to show the camera the poison-covered plastic. Did I mention the snake was still there?

What a nutter – but I love him for it. Such eagerness to show the viewer the end product of his actions in the face of danger deserves nothing but respect, and demonstrates a clear willingness to suffer for his art – to inform, and as a result entertain.

Get a few more presenters prepared to maim themselves horrifically for the sake of entertainment and I might even start watching TV again.

Addicks Bagged By West Brom – WBA 4, Charlton 2

2007-12-15T23:48:00.000Z

West Brom proved why they are many people's tip for the Championship title with a clinical 4-2 victory over Charlton at The Hawthorns on Saturday.

The away side had reason to be confident having won the last 4 on the road, but suspensions to defenders Mills and Fortune alongside Grant Basey's injury forced Pardew's hand on team selection.

Midfielder Semedo took Mills' place as a makeshift right-back, Bougherra and Sodje were the central pairing, and Chris Powell recovered from injury to complete the defence on the left. Reid, Zhi and Holland made the centre of a 5-man midfield, Ambrose and the returning Thomas making up the width. Iwelumo continued his role as a lone striker, the match turning out to be an eventful one for him in particular.

As expected Tony Mowbray's side started the strongest, testing the Addicks defence twice in the first 10 minutes. Bougherra did well to clear a dangerous cross from Gera, and minutes later Chris Brunt went just wide with a thumping drive outside the box.

The Baggies almost broke the deadlock after a quarter of an hour. Bednar played a 1-2 with Gera and met the resulting cross with a fierce volley against the post. Bednar then turned provider for Gera minutes later, Gera failing to meet the cross under pressure from Powell.

Charlton did manage to create some opportunities as they tried to establish a foothold in the game, the best being a classy turn and curling 30-yard shot from Reid which just crept outside the far post. A long ball from the back almost released Reid minutes later, but the West Brom defence held firm and the danger averted.

The home side continued to apply the pressure, Brunt again going close with another strike. They came even closer from a corner as Weaver flapped at a punch and missed, although Chris Powell was well placed to clear the ball off the line.

With just over 10 minutes left in the half, Iwelumo appeared to turn his ankle chasing a through-ball. After lengthy treatment and strapping the target man continued to hobble through the half. He then made his time count with a goal against the run of play after some excellent work from Thomas. The winger turned the West Brom defence and lifted a tantalising high cross into the box. Iwelumo leapt and somehow turned his body to power the ball into the net, the unlikeliest of scorelines considering his fitness and the balance of play up to that point.

This didn't phase the home side, and It only took The Baggies seven minutes before they got back into the match. Bednar and Gera had been causing problems for the makeshift defence all game, and when Bednar received a threaded pass through the defence from Gera he cooly slotted past a poorly positioned Weaver for the equaliser.

Iwelumo should arguably have gone off before he scored to avoid further injury, and was finally replaced by Izale McLeod in the last 2 minutes of the half. Pardew will no doubt be anxious to find out the extent of the injury to a player who has been a key part of the campaign.

The second half began as the first left off, the home side continuing to attack and show why they are the highest scorers in this division.

Bougherra was lucky to stay on the pitch after leading with his arm into a challenge, but the luck finally ran out in the 49th minute. The impressive Brunt put a high ball to the back post which Powell should have been defending, but Gera was allowed to leap unchallenged to head past Weaver.

Charlton then showed the determination they've shown on previous travels as they battled to get back into the game. Ambrose came close to scoring, but could only toe-end to the keeper from a cross. The away side then had a penalty shout as Zhi charged into the box, although replays suggested the midfielder may have tripped over his own feet.

Luke Varney was introduced for the last 25 minutes, replacing Ambrose. Sankofa then replaced Reid as Pardew tried to shore up both the defence and midfield. The pace and running from Varney made an immediate difference, and minutes after coming on the striker was unlucky to poke over the bar from 10 yards after a smart run into the box.

Varney impressed further as he turned provider eight minutes later. His cross was met by McLeod, whose shot was poorly handled by the West Brom keeper as it rolled in for a deserved equaliser. 15 minutes remained and it seemed McLeod's long-awaited goal may have earned the Addicks a crucial point.

It wasn't to be though as Charlton's defence crumbled with West Brom pressing for the winner. In an identical goal to their second, Powell again failed to deal with a high cross from Brunt and Gera nodded in his second of the game.

McLeod then came close after a flick-on from Holland, and Weaver turned a goal-bound shot round the post with a fantastic save. West Brom made certain of the points from the resulting corner as Charlton failed miserably to clear. The ball fell to Kevin Phillips, who lashed home from close range to complete a convincing 4-2 scoreline.

The win was deserved – West Brom were the better team, and on this evidence look like the class of the division. Unfortunately for Charlton, results around the division also went against them. Wins for Stoke and Bristol City capped off a disappointing day for the Addicks, who drop to fifth in the table and 3 points off the automatic promotion spots.

A-Capello

2007-12-14T23:05:00.000Z

Image © RealMadrid.pl

Steve McClaren's successor as England Manager was finally confirmed today as Fabio Capello signed a four-and-a-half year deal with the FA. Capello, 61, will be revealed at a press conference on Monday, his role starting early in the New Year.

Much discussion has been made about the importance of the nationality of the England manager, but I'm firmly in the 'doesn't matter' camp – so long as he is the best man for the job, is within our budget, and can deliver results.

Eriksson was actually a reasonably successful England manager, but despite his club skills currently being demonstraed at Man City, he lacked a 'Plan B' all too often at International level. Despite the glory of the 5-1 win in Germany, Eriksson's reign will be remembered by many as a passive figure in his failure to inspire his side to victory against 10-man Brazil.

McClaren seemed to lack all necessary skills to command the team and showed signs of desperation toward the end of his reign. Flying out to the USA to watch Beckham play in a charity match was sheer idiocy – anyone who has watched even a testimonial game will tell you they have no use in judging a player's fitness, form or ability. What was more important at that point in time was to track the form of English-based players who had the potential to spark the team to victory against a Croatia side with nothing to play for.

The task Capello has to answer is turning a team of Champions League regulars into a team capable of generating results at International level. This is no longer about individuals, it is about getting the team working, getting results, and getting pride back into an England team that has been a joke at this level for too long. For these reasons, I believe the FA have got the best man for the job.

Fabio Capello is a winner, and if you take a look at his record it speaks for itself:
- 4 Serie A titles with AC Milan (92, 93, 94, 96)
- La Liga title with Real Madrid (97)
- Serie A title with Roma (01)
- 2 Serie A titles with Juventus (05, 06)
- La Liga title with Real Madrid (07)

9 league titles in 15 years, and in 2 of the toughest leagues in the world, is a record rivalled only by Ferguson in recent times. Capello has been criticised for moving around clubs, but that could be a bonus when coming into the International setup for the first time. It proves the ability to continually work with new players, produce new teams over time, and get results.

Over the same 15-year period, Ferguson has always had access to the likes of Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, and until recently Roy Keane. Capello has had no such luxury of continuity, and has had to scout and bring in suitable players from transfer funding.

Capello has a history of being an uncompromising manager, an authoritarian. As intimidating as that may be to a player, as a professional you can only respect such a track record and buy into his methods if you want to perform and win. Winning at International level isn't about winning pretty – we don't have the likes of the Madrid fans who demand to win in style. England have under-performed for so long we simply want to win again.

His first task will be to sort out a dressing room culture which has been a creeping issue since the start of the Premier League, and moreso since Keegan's reign. The personalities and drinking culture had already existed under Venables, and although Hoddle's period did appear to instil more discipline, it was at a cost. Hoddle's lack of man-management skills handling the Beckham situation put the sympathy back on the side of the players.

The card schools came back under Keegan, as did the image of the manager being a 'friend' to the players. This continued more graphically under Eriksson, with stories of player power and the influence of key players on team selection. McClaren was already a dead man walking from day one as he was a continuation of the old regime.

Capello won't stand for this – the WAGs will be out, as will the personalities. His methods will be the only agenda. His record is clear – buy into his approach and the statistics show you will be a winner. The England players need to realise that this is the case and respect this. There may be key players in a squad, but you can only unlock everyone's potential by playing as a unit.

My personal hope from this appointment is that we will see a side that truly cares about the results. Too often we see 'superstars' underperforming in an England shirt, despite running the show only 3 days later against Europe's elite in the Champion's League.

We may not win a World Cup, but if Capello can create a passionate team that will do anything to wear the shirt he will have achieved more than any England manager in recent times.

If the Italian can inspire the belief and desire the England team displayed in his home country in Italia '90, he will be a resounding success.

Dickson Watch

2007-12-13T14:02:00.000Z

As a free transfer from Colchester, Chris Iwelumo is turning into one of the bargain buys of The Championship this season. He's strong, can win the ball in the air, and has shown he's handy with his feet as well. He's essentially everything that Bartlett and Marcus Bent should have been, but better. And free!

A glance at the club stats makes for some interesting reading as far as goals go though. Iwelumo has 8 and Reid 6, the closest striker being Varney with 3. In our last 5 matches, 6 of our 8 goals have come from the midfield.

In fairness, a lot of this can be put down to the formation used so far, 4-5-1 appearing the most effective. Also, Varney was injured for the early part of the season. However, we have been guilty of spurning chances up front, especially in our home matches. At this level we simply have to finish teams off.

Compare this record against the current top two, Watford and West Brom. King and Henderson have 19 between them, and Phillips and Miller have 17. At this stage in the season we've scored 5 less than watford and 17 less than West Brom. With the chance of all 3 of us making a break for it in January, goals could be the important factor in who goes straight up and who's left scrapping in the playoffs.

4-5-1 has had it's success, but when it doesn't work you need a Plan B. There will be times we need to go 4-4-2, and if Iwelumo gets injured it's the only way we could really play with the current personel. Varney has shown promise, but hasn't yet found the killer instinct he had at Crewe. McLeod is completely shot of confidence after the step-up, and Todorov's Charlton career is probably over before it really began. Pardew could go to the market for another striker in January, but there is another option.

Chris Dickson's final loan spell with Gillingham will end in January, and I would urge Pardew to take a chance on him. He's on fire for the Gills after a dissapointing spell at Crewe, and already scored 7 league goals for the Gills, 11 in total.

He has a lot to learn and is far from the finished article, but we need someone brimming with confidence and an eagerness to score. He's a poacher, and playing alongside a player like Iwelumo for the last 15 minutes of a match could be a cracking combination - if he can finish off a few of those flick-ons from the big man we'll have a real asset to the team and a chance to push up the all important goal difference.

Bringing back Dickson could give McLeod the opportunity to go out on a short loan and rediscover the fantastic form he had for MK Dons last season. He's scored 60 in 135 appearances, which is a great record - if he can find that form again he could be an excellent asset for the final few months of the season.

Hopefully we'll see some of Dickson before the end of the January transfer window - if he manages to earn a place in the team and performs, we could have an alternative to our current plans and a real strikeforce on our hands.

Teams Heading In The Right Direction

2007-12-12T00:03:00.000Z

I'm not keeping too keen an eye on the Prem for rather obvious reasons this season, but you can't help but cast an admiring glance over the progress of Arsenal. Unless of course you're a Spurs fan, and will have spontaneously combusted by now at the mere mention of your North London neighbours.

Wenger has put together a young team playing probably the most exciting football in the Premiership, and aside from the fading Man City, have been the real surprise package in a contest that's been devoid of excitement for so long.

They're a team heading in the right direction - it's just a bit of a shame their coach driver for the match at Middlesbrough on Sunday wasn't in quite the same league.

Paying far too much attention to the Satnav rather than engaging common sense, he took a bit of a wrong turn and headed for Darlington instead. The squad eventually arrived at The Riverside only an our before kick-off, and suffered a 2-1 pasting. [Read all about it]

The irony must have slapped them round the head with a cricket bat when they saw the sponsors on Boro's shirt - Satnav manufacturers, Garmin...

After I'd mopped the floor from pissing myself laughing, I realised the daft Gooner isn't alone in all this - I picked up a TomTom the other month.

If you haven't got a clue where you're going, they really are ace. I managed to get from London to my mate's flat in central Manchester, via an away match in Hull, with minimal fuss and no maps. Easy peasy, and for the first month it was fantastic. The problems come when you actually know the place you're driving around, at which point they become as helpful as Calista Flockheart in an eating contest.

I'd heard the stories about Londoners being sent through Piccadilly Circus for any journey through Central London, but it had to be an urban legend. Surely no piece of technology could be that stupid. Yet, on a trip from North London to Heathrow, guess where I ended up. Unbelievable.

It does highlight our over-reliance on technology these days, and our unwavering acceptance of all things digital. People have stopped questioning things. "It's on a computer, it must be true". It's far easier to devoid yourself of responsibility when a machine can do it for you. "Not my fault, it's the computer". People forget too quickly that behind every piece of technology created there's a human brain designing it. Guess what - they make mistakes.

So, will Chelsea suffer similar problems on their trip from West London to The Emirates on Sunday?

Avram - a word of advice. Get the boys some Oyster Cards and put them on the tube. It's only 45 minutes from Fulham Broadway and it'll save Roman a coupla quid. He'll probably need it after paying off that Jose fella. It might even get those overpaid nancy boys realising what life is like for those of us who don't kick around a bag of air for a living.

Even better - it's a 5 minute walk from Arsenal station these days. Lampard might lose a few pounds... ;)

2 Weeks To Go...

2007-12-11T00:29:00.000Z

I've always been a bit on the unorganised side – I generally live by the rule that if something can be left until tomorrow, I'll do it in a fortnight. After all, what's the rush for anything these days? There's enough stress around, live a little.

Unfortunately, the same doesn't ring true around this time of year. That Christmas thing everyone goes bonkers over these days strikes fear into the heart of every lazy sod like me.

It means we have to go shopping. At the busiest time of year.

The crowds, the despair, the 'out of stock' signs, the frustrated parents... Christmas shopping is up there on the fun stakes with teabagging a deep fat fryer. How anyone can enjoy this archaic annual event is surely beyond help. It's almost as if the process is designed to make us want to ritually commit suicide en-mass as part of an absurd religious cult. (Hmmm...)

Not to fear though, I have a trump card out of my shopping nightmare – the Interweb. Yep, as sceptical as you may be of modern technology, you simply can't beat it for Christmas. Whereas half an hour in Oxford Street would result in me murdering people with a spoon, arm me with a credit card and a laptop and I'm sorted.

There is of course the upside to this time of year – that bastion of free booze, the office Christmas Party. They're fantastic aren't they – in the space of a few hours you can get yourself fed, wasted, sacked, promoted, sacked again, snog someone you've sat next to for 3 years and never spoke to... cracking stuff, and I love it.

It's the annual gameshow I call Wheel of F*ckwit. All the opportunities for life-changing events are available at the spin of a champagne bottle, neatly packaged in your own personalised reality TV show.

There's even the 'results' programme the following day as the office collectively attempts to assemble the 1,000 piece jigsaw of debauchery. If you can somehow get out of this one without an ounce of self-loathing shame, you've obviously not tried hard enough the night before.

But let's not forget about what this time of year is about – the all important day of the festive season dear to so many of us. The one day when you can sit down in the company of like-minded individuals, relax, have a beer, and forget about all your frustrations.

It's Boxing Day when Charlton play away at Norwich. I can't wait!

Double Dare

2007-12-10T19:34:00.000Z

I've got a double apparently – yep, whilst hard at work today in the Tower Hill area, I was seen in Berkeley Square in London's West End. Luckily my spotter realised their mistake before tapping 'me' on the shoulder for a rather awkward moment of embarrassment.

It got me thinking though – if I've got a clone walking around, one of his mate's is going to mistake me for him one day. Imagine if we've got the same voice, mannerisms and everything – this could be ace!

Thing is, unlike the poor unsuspecting chap in Berkeley Square, I'm prepared for it. Oh yes. I can't wait to confuse the hell out of the first person who taps me on the shoulder thinking I'm someone else. You could fake amnesia, pretend you snogged them last night, maybe even cash in on any drinks your stunt double is owed.

Try and find out where they work as well – if it's somewhere cool, blag it! Could be freebies all night and partying with models until your drinks tab convulses. And to finish, sign it in the other guy's name...

OK, so the chances of this happening are pretty slim, but you can have a similar level of mirth in other cases of mistaken identity.

We've all had the 'wrong number' phone calls, the annoying ones where the person calling you is mistakenly convinced you're the person they're after. I still don't get those situations - I'm generally a pretty good judge of knowing I am actually me and not Bob from Fife. Next time you get a call like this, have a bit of fun.

Pretend you really are that person. If you're a bloke and they're calling for a woman, put a girly voice on or convince them you're in the process of a sex change. Try and find out some juicy gossip about them. Start an argument. If you're feeling really evil, arrange to meet them for dinner.

It's like a reverse-the-charges version of Fonejacker. For anyone yet to see this, check out www.fonejacker.com. This is your toolkit - pull off something on this scale and a career change could be on the cards for you...

The Price Of Fortune - Charlton 3, Ipswich 1

2007-12-08T23:56:00.000Z

Three goals at The Valley has been a bad luck sign for Charlton in recent weeks, but they finally got the home win they so desperately needed in a thrilling contest. The match had everything – great goals, excellent attacking play, a missed penalty, hit posts and crossbars, a sending off... easily the most exciting home game so far, and a nightmare to watch for a home fan.

Both teams started strongly from the kick off. The shape of the Ipswich side suggested they hadn't come to lie down, happily pushing players up the park to attack. Charlton replied to this pressure and pace in the best possible fashion in the first half, and played some exquisite football at times.

The home team broke the deadlock in only the 6th minute. A header from Iwelumo found Sam on the edge of the box, who held it up long enough to let in Holland on the overlap. His inch-perfect cross to Ambrose was met by a bullet-header, ex-Ipswich 1, Ipswich 0.

The Addicks continued to press and started showing levels of skill and confidence missing all too often from home performances. Lloyd Sam impressed with a neat turn and shot, Reid kept the midfield ticking over, and Zhi was having possibly his best game this season with a number of great tackles and intelligent passing.

The second goal was scruffy but no less deserved on the balance of play. Ipswich needlessly conceded a corner, and Alexander in the Town goal failed to collect Reid's delivery. Iwelumo only had to touch it over the line - such was the 'pace' on the ball it took the North Stand a few seconds to appreciate it was a goal! After a look at the replay I'm not convinced it wasn't a handball but it stands regardless, 2-0 to Charlton on the half-hour.

Ipswich's first real chance came after the introduction of Counago. A free-kick was nodded into his path, but both the post and linesman's flag saved the Addicks on this occasion.

Moments later a long, high ball from Mills found Reid in space behind the Ipswich defence. He laid the ball into the path of Ambrose, who thumped it into the bottom-left corner for his second of the game. Charlton had finished the first half on a flyer, leaving Magilton's side with a mountain to climb in the second half.

Whatever happened in the half-time team talk must have inspired Ipswich as they went for broke in the second period. The Addicks back line suddenly looked vulnerable under constant waves of pressure, culminating in the upending of Counago for a penalty.

Lee stepped up, but his poor penalty was saved by Weaver, the Ipswich man also slipping to miss the rebound with the goal gaping. Charlton had got lucky. This good fortune was extended 5 minutes later as Haynes could only head onto the bar from the impressive Counago's volley.

Charlton gradually clawed their way back into the game and put some pressure back on the Tractor Boys. Holland picked up a header from Iwelumo and fired a goalbound drive that Alexander turned onto the post.

More penalty controversy followed from the rebound as Ambrose drove back across goal to see his shot blocked by Wilnis. The referee initially blew for a penalty, but from the view in the North Stand you could clearly see the ball hit the player's chest. The linesman over-ruled and the game continued.

Ipswich finally got a goal back to set up a nailbiting final 20 minutes. Good work from Haynes caught out Powell, and was too quick for Zheng. His cross to the edge of the box left Mills dealing with 2 attackers, giving Counago the space in the box he needed for a classy back-heeled goal past Weaver.

Pardew attempted to shore things up by bringing Semedo on for Sam, and in the last 5 minutes Varney came on for Reid. Charlton held on for the victory, but it came at a cost.

Mills was unfortunate to pick up a yellow card as he was booked for running into the falling Walters, and Powell was taken off injured. As the nerves jangled up to the final whistle, Fortune lost it and lashed out at Lee. The referee had no choice but to send him off.

On the face of it it's a fantastic win – Ipswich's excellent home record makes them clear promotion contenders. However, we have now lost 3 and possibly 4 key personnel for next week's trip to West Brom.

Mill's card means he's suspended, Fortune will be out for the next 3 games, Sam was already suspended for that match, and Powell's injury and lack of fitness could keep him out as well. I wrote last week about the importance of the defence in this campaign, and with Basey still injured we look in real trouble at the back.

Still, an important result for all at The Valley, which keeps us 3rd but only 2 points off the top.

Expensive Hangover Cures

2007-12-07T20:24:00.000Z

The world of science has come up with some remarkable discoveries over the years. The Theory of Evolution, discovery of DNA, putting a man on the moon... Modern medicine continues to amaze, with micosurgery, transplants, test tube babies, all remarkable stuff.

What amazes me more though is how they're still yet to sort out the condition that affects most of us at least once a week – the Hangover. Even more surprising considering most doctors I know could cause a supply crisis at a brewery on a night out.

2 school nights out in a row is normally the death me these days, so the absolute stinker of a hangover on Friday morning was no real surprise. Trademark pint of water and a couple of paracetamols in hand, I had a plan.

I've tried all the hangover cures I can think of over the years. If you can actually stomach Alka-Seltzer without sending it back up you can't be that bad. Painkillers just dull the ache of despair and lengthen the process. Fry-ups never work. No, what you need to get out of these situations is something to keep you excited, awake, and alert.

You need to buy something. Expensive.

My recovery involved a quick trip to PC World and a spangly new MacBook – and boy, did this work as a cure! It was instant – the moment that white slab of electronica came out of the box the threshing machine in my head that was so intent on turning my brain to mush faded away.

Granted – this isn't the kind of get-out-of-jail card you can afford to use on a regular basis, but my god it's ace!

So – next time you wake up feeling like your head's in a vice, don't check for the ibuprofen supply first – check the credit card limit. Boys – that plasma telly you've always wanted is just a short trip away... Girls – sod the budget, go and buy that pair of Chloe's. Blow the lot. Go crazy.

After all, it's a credit card – not like its real money is it... ;)

Dodgy Weather?

2007-12-06T13:26:00.000Z

Image © BBC

It's happed to all of us hasn't it - you take a peek out of the window, decide the brolly can stay at home, get down the road and it pisses it down.

You arrive at your destination a soggy, miserable wretch, cursing your lack of foresight for not checking the weather report on the telly. But even that doesn't always help.

TV weather reporting has a history of presentational one-upmanship, from glitzy 3D graphics to even more glamourous presenters. And Michael Fish. The goal of the programme is to inform, but it it really giving us what we need?

The terminology used is baffling to the average man in the street. Ask him to explain the point of Isobars, what happens when a cold and warm front meet, what wind speed registers as gale force compared to a light breeze, how you measure 1mm of rain... Chances are you'll get an expression blanker than a cheque for a Government IT project.

With the thirst for over the top graphics and information overload, TV weather has lost the meaning of why it exists in the first place - people simply want to know what they can wear today.

They don't care about high and low pressure. They care even less about wind patterns over the North Sea. Lucy from Stevenage just wants to know if she can wear her crop-top today or if packing a dinghy and a life jacket would be a more sensible option.

I have a simple suggestion for how we can make the weather reports more relevant to the audience - make the presenters dress up in what people can wear that day.

It would be ace wouldn't it? No need to worry about what to wear - just look at the bloke or bird on the screen! They can even quick-change outfits in a 'velcro meets Bucks-Fizz' blaze during the report for morning, noon and night. Fantastic!

Think of the opportunities for the TV companies as well - no need to find someone with Met Office training and good looks and a semblance of a personality. They only need to tell the presenters how much to wear. Fashion houses could even sponsor the outfits - a weather programme could actually make money!

Someone get me Mark Thompson's number, I think I'm on to something here...

Back On Track - Cardiff 0, Charlton 2

2007-12-05T00:27:00.000Z

Image © BBC

Charlton got their season back on track at Ninian Park last night, finishing off a sorry Cardiff side by a two-goal margin and climbing to 3rd in the table.

Pardew made the expected switch back to the 4-5-1 formation that had recently produced 4 consecutive wins, with just one change in personel as Lloyd Sam came in at the expense of Luke Varney.

And this is where my first hand knowledge of the game evades me - it's the first game I've missed since starting this Blog! Too busy at work lazy to make the trip to Cardiff, I was one of many Addicks reduced to listening to the game via BBC London's internet commentary. Don't tell 'em though - they're not supposed to be broadcasting fizzy-pops matches any more! Shhhh... ;)

Anyway - from what I could hear from the radio and the 15 seconds of coverage on Sky Sports News, it sounds like our opponents barely turned up. Which is a bit off really seeing as some of us travelled 200 miles. All I remember hearing of Weaver was one save the first half, such was the level of quality from the home side. However, this will serve as a great confidence boost for a back line who've shipped 6 goals in the last 2 matches.

Matt Holland eventually broke the deadlock 11 minutes from time, driving home from the edge of the box past a flat-footed Schmeichel after Cardiff failed to clear a corner. Some relief for the away fans - this was the first away goal in normal time in the last 5 road trips. Seems I got it wrong on the Holland/Semedo argument this time!

The second half didn't get much better in terms of entertainment value, but the result was all important for both managers in this match. Not only was Pardew keen to get the promotion push back on track, another home defeat could lose Dave Jones his place in the Ninian Park hotseat.

In the end it was Charlton who scored the only other goal in a tired-sounding affair. A slip by Darren Purse let Ambrose into the box, who was then wrestled to the ground by the Cardiff defender for a penalty. Reid made no mistake from the spot, and with 10 minutes left the game was over as a contest.

Charlton shored up the midfield by taking off Ambrose for Semedo, and gave Varney and McLeod a run-out for the last 5 minutes in place of Lloyd Sam and current Championship Player of the Month Chris Iwelumo.

Things only got better for the Addicks as the results came in from around the grounds. Ipswich continued their poor away form by losing to Bristol City, Plymouth lost at Norwich, and Barnsley beat Wolves. The result of the day though was at The Hawthorns, West Brom going down 2-4 to Coventry.

So, we're back up to 3rd and only a point behind The Baggies - who remain my tip for the title. The most important thing for Pardew is to tranfer the momentum on the road through to the home performances. Charlton have won only 4 at The Valley compared to 6 away wins.

Saturday's opponents Ipswich are yet to win away this season, but on the flipside Charlton have won just 2 games against top-half opposition.

This weekend's outcome is likely to give us a good indication of whether we really are contenders for automatic promotion, or are facing the prospect of a nailbiting fight for a playoff place.

Case For The Defence

2007-12-04T13:18:00.000Z

First the good news - Big Chris has been named The Championship's Player of the Month! There you go - we've won something! Iwelumo has been great for us so far and has shown the attitude and commitment we need at this level - keep it up.

It's a shame a number of questionable refereeing decisions have gone against him, Saturday's penalty claim for one. He seems to suffer from the 'Crouch Effect' - any time he jumps with a defender the ref can't help but give a foul against him. Anyway, get some more of those headers on target and he'll be a cert on the teamsheet.

So on to the bad part. 6 goals conceded in the last 2 home games would be grim reading for a club in the relegation spots, but when you're in 4th place with promotion aspirations you have to wonder when the rot will stop.

You can forgive the first few matches of the season, a spell where the team relied on simply scoring more than we let in. Any completely new back four needs time to gel, its not so long ago that Fortune struggled to get a first team place. And up until the 2 recent home games, gradual improvements were coming to the fold.

The first casualty from the early matches is McCarthy. He was found lacking for pace and skill and I can see him leaving in January. The second casualty in a more physical sense is the unlucky Moutaouakil. Our best player on the opening day, he was unfortunate to get injured so soon in the season away at Stoke. As a result, his return has been hindered by the surprise loan of Danny Mills who has generally impressed so far.

Confidence seemed to have been the main issue up until this point, and the loan signings of Mills and Sodje have strengthened us in 2 key areas:

1. Mills is confident on the ball, experienced, and knows how to handle himself at this level. This has filtered through to the rest of the defence. Ok, he lost it a bit on Saturday, but on the whole I think his influence has been positive

2. Sodje will attack anything with his head - even at ground level in some cases! He's not afraid to get stuck in, which is essential for this campaign

Whilst Fortune looks classy at times, pairing him with Bougherra in central defence was an accident waiting to happen and makes their occasional laziness apparent. They play too similarly - Fortune has always been prone to 'ball-watch', and having two players like this leaves you hideously exposed at set pieces. This is where Sodje has been a revelation and allows Fortune to do what he does best - tidy up and release the ball.

Where we are still weak is on the left. I really think Basey could be great for us this season, but he does lack experience and was tested at Preston. Powell will always be a legend, but he showed on Saturday that he still isn't 100% fit and might not last the distance. Lucklilly he'll only have Hasselbaink and Fowler to worry about tonight. ;)

So, what happened in the last 2 matches. My gut feeling is a 'blip' after getting things together so well in the previous games. It would be harsh to blame Sheffield United's goals on the back four, and despite poor marking I'm happy to give Burnley the credit for turning us over on Saturday. I really think the defence will be more than sufficient for the remainder of the campaign, especially with the added confidence from Weaver's performances. Before then we hadn't conceded a goal in 4 games, including 3 away outings.

The biggest worry is January. The 2 players who have made the biggest impact in the defence (Mills/Sodje) are loan signings, and we could lose them both. Losing half the defence at this time of year would be nothing short of catastrophic, especially when the likes of Ipswich will have money to spend.

I seriously hope we keep them both - Bougherra can't play with Fortune, Moutaouakil has promise but has only played 2 games, Basey is inexperienced, and more importantly there's no cover left after that! Corey Gibbs looks more likely to draw a pension before being seen in a Charlton shirt again.

Tonight's game is all important after 2 morale-sapping defeats, and the performance of our back line is sure to be well scrutinised by both Dave Jones and Alan Pardew at Ninian Park tonight. If there ever was a case for the defence, this is it...

Death Of The Album?

2007-12-03T21:02:00.000Z

I loved my Walkman - it was a right of passage when I got that shiny red Philips Skymaster for my birthday. Yep, I could finally take my tapes on the move, wherever I wanted, without my parents listening. The joy of Public Enemy, 808 State, and the guilty pleasure of 'Now' albums... I went through more batteries a month than a desperate housewife with an Ann Summers catalogue.

Even when CDs came along, my trusty tape deck was still with me - by this time I'd upgraded and it had a radio as well. Progress huh? The usage pattern still stayed the same though - get an album onto tape and listen to it.

These days everything has changed. We have convenient, instant gratification available to us thanks to the Internet, iTunes, and mp3 players. You can fit an entire CD collection in a player the size of a wallet, with room to spare for movie files of every episode of Family Guy and South Park for the bargain.

I bought my first iPod in 2004, a 40gb music-only player. It was amazing - all those years of tunes now in my pocket, I could finally catch up on all the albums I'd meant to spend time listening to. Only I didn't. Modern music players brought in a new way of listening - playlists.

Playlists are like a digital compilation tape, but limited only by the size of your music catalogue, creativity and inspiration. Used well you can tailor your music to whatever mood you are in. Used lazily and you end up recycling the same old tracks you always listen to in a random order.

My bet is that for most people with iPods, it's the latter. 'Shuffle' mode was a fantastic idea, but it just promotes laziness. You no longer listen to albums - just songs. Isn't that a good thing though? Doesn't that sort the musical wheat from the disjointed chaff?

Well, not really. The best albums are made to be listened to as a whole, not as a collection of singles. Some great albums simply don't have the impact as songs on an individual basis, but played together collectively in the intended context can form the most brilliant pieces. Dark Side of the Moon, Pet Sounds, Ziggy Stardust - all classics. The likes of Screamadelica, His 'N' Hers and Homework are all great examples of modern complete albums.

In the digital world I barely even know the song titles these days - you rip your CD to your library with a fleeting glance at the cover. Although I can tell you that tracks 1, 3 and 6 on the first Art Brut album are ace, they might be 7, 4 and 9 the next time they get shuffled.

As much of a breakthrough as iPods are in getting people closer to their music collection, they're having the unforeseen effect of killing the album culture that's been the heart of music for as long as we've known.

Whereas with a tape-based Walkman you'd happily listen to an album, you can skip away to your heart's content with an mp3 player - the design positively encourages lazy listening. Do that with a walkman and you'd need your own power station in batteries and a rucksack the size of a cupboard to carry the tapes.

Music downloading was popular before the iPod became big news (Napster was around in 1999), but the equipment available at the time wasn't enough to change listening habits - nobody was going to lug their PC around in their pocket. It's not until the iPod came to popularity that music became a commodity of convenience.

Today's kids are the 'Ringtone Generation', where the single rules supreme. The iTunes store appears to exist mainly to allow people to buy individual tracks rather than a complete album. When a physical CD can be purchased from play.com at the same price or cheaper than iTunes, why buy a lower quality digital version? It's even worse with lower-capacity players as it's all too tempting to only copy over the tracks you 'like'.

It doesn't have to be this way though, and I appeal to manufacturers of mp3 players to help bring albums back to life with a simple change to their user interface. And it's a really easy one.

Whenever you're listening in shuffle or playlist mode, make it simple (i.e. no more than 2 button clicks) to jump to the rest of the album. I've lost count of the times I've heard a track and wanted to listen to the rest of the album, but get completely hindered by the 'award winning' interface.

By the time I've worked out what album its on, and the fact that I've got to press 10 buttons just to navigate to it, I'm bored and want the next track. It's crazy, and it could be so much easier.

Yes, I'm lazy. Yes, I could have chose to listen to just an album in the first place. But these players are devised in a way to positively discourage you from listening to albums as they were intended. It takes 2 button clicks to get to a playlist, so why not 2 to jump to an album?

'Menu', 'Jump To Album'. Piece of piss! It's yours - it's free! My gift to you. I won't patent the idea, just put it in your bloody players.

Do this and with any luck the next Klaxons album might have more than 4 songs worth listening to.

Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)

2007-12-02T19:00:00.000Z

Perhaps I'm looking back at Saturday night telly with slightly too much of a nostalgic view, but is it just me or is it simply unbearably shit these days?

Unfortunate enough to have to fill in time between yesterday's thumping and a rather more enjoyable party in Camden, TV was my only available solace. And what a treat I had in store.

My background entertainment for the evening consisted of X Factor, something I've happily managed to avoid from the moment of being single. I'm not looking through rose-tinted spectacles here, but previous memories of such programming revolved around the often heartwarming stories of the performers involved.

The days of loveable serial stammerer Gareth Gates, powerfully voiced but cake addicted Rick Waller, and equally weight-troubled warbler Michelle McManus (who possibly ate Rick - has anyone seen him since?) have now become a sideshow.

The previous Popstars/Pop Idol format was fundamentally different in the respect that it was all about the collaborative production of untapped talent. This allowed the viewer to focus on the individual artists themselves, appreciate their backgrounds, and see their progression throughout the show.

X Factor made a drastic change by making individual judges totally responsible for the development of participants. With a vested interest involved and egos at stake, the show is no longer about the performance - it's about the judges. I didn't have a stopwatch to hand, but I'm sure that between them Louis Walsh, Sharon Osbourne, Danni Minougue and Simon Cowell had more collective airtime than any of the acts involved.

What transpires after each performance is nothing other than woeful one-upmanship in the form of a human bearpit, which would make an argument in an infant school playground appear civilised. Each 'judge' tries to outdo the other with pathetic reasons for why their act is 'better', and why the poor plasticised on-stage drones don't deserve to go through. At one point Walsh practically blamed the mere existence of one act for eliminating his the previous week. Who would have thought the act of human respiration could be such a heinous crime.

What conclusions can we raise from quality programming like this? For one, the judges clearly have nothing but contempt for the acts they supposedly 'mentor', showing only callous disdain for any rival in the show. Shouldn't these bastions of industry be lending the helping hand of experience to all participants? It seems the acts aren't there for the record-buying public, they exist only as a vehicle to support the judges' own egotistic absurdity.

This isn't about the best act winning, or even nurturing of raw talent - it's pure balls-on-the-table, plaintive machismo. Osbourne and Minougue are prepared to show testosterone levels that would make a scientist doubt their chromosome makeup - a fact made more disturbing when it's Danni we're talking about.

Surely we are only one step away from 'Judge Factor' - a show in which the public vote to keep on the judge that proves themselves to be the biggest, most cantankerous piss-streak in existence each week.

After all, if the ratings stay as they are it serves only to prove that this dreadful simmering shitfest exists purely to satisfy our own sick delight in sadistic suffering.

Early Christmas Stuffing - Charlton 1, Burnley 3

2007-12-01T20:16:00.000Z

Owen Coyle's Burnley claimed their second top-three scalp in a week with a battling win over a Charlton side still reeling from a 3 goal drubbing on Tuesday.

After 5 outings with a 4-5-1 formation, Pardew opted for 4-4-2, Varney joining Iwelumo up front. The biggest change came in midfield with a nod to experience in the form of Reid, Holland, Zhi and Ambrose, with Powell filling in for the injured Basey at left-back. Sam was on the bench, with Thomas ominous in his absence.

Personally I found some of the changes puzzling - despite Holland's undeniable experience and commitment, Semedo for me is a better player and has continually been a controlling force in midfield. I've not been Jerome Thomas's biggest fan recently, but he does have the skill and ability to make an impact - moreso than McLeod on current form.

Things started poorly for The Addicks as Andy Gray headed in unchallenged from a Burnley free kick after only 8 minutes. This could have been considered a blip for a defence that has been solid until recently, but the misery was compounded 7 minutes later as McCann headed in from a practically identical set-piece.

Pardew will need strong words with his players about marking, both goals being completely defendable despite the players being strangely absent from duty.

Burnley's confidence rose after the second goal, and they continually pressed the home side with a display of neat passing and tidy defending. They were the better side and could have been 5 up before the break.

It took Charlton until the last 15 minutes of the half to make an impact, and after continual pressure got themselves back in the game. A run from Ambrose set up Zhi inside the 6 yard box, but could only turn the ball wide when he should have hit the target at least.

Things improved for The Addicks in the 36th minute as they halved the defecit. A high cross from Mills was deflected to the back post into the path of the unmarked Reid, who volleyed home exquisitely.

This gave the home team the initiative they needed as they closed the half strongly. There were also claims for a penalty as Iwelumo was blatantly manhandled inside the box in first-half injury time, although the referee inexplicably decided to award the visitors a free kick.

The second half saw a complete change with Burnley happy to soak up the pressure. The home side seemed galvinised by the efforts of the closing period of the first half and swept forward in search of an equaliser.

A superb swerving drive from Reid was parried by Kiraly into the path of Iwelumo, but the target man's header went straight to the former Palace keeper.

The Valley faithful thought the equaliser had come in the 68th minute as Iwelumo headed home from a Varney flick-on. The cheers soon subsided at the sight of the linesman's flag, the goal chalked off for offside.

The cruel script for the home supporters was complete just a minute later as Mills needlessly handled in the area, his hands well above his head. The ref had no option but to point to the spot, which Gray cooly dispatched for his second of the game.

This stunned Charlton, and the game was no longer a contest from this point. Further changes came in the form of Bougherra, Sam and McLeod for Sodje, Zhi and Varney, but all failed to make an impact as the match fizzled out to the final whistle.

2 home defeats, 6 goals conceded, and a lot of questions to be answered in Tuesday's trip to Cardiff. Charlton now sit in 4th place, Watford's 3rd loss in a row today only emphasising what a missed opportunity this week has become.

Telly Addicks

2007-11-30T07:12:00.000Z

Image © BBC

It appears none other than Bjorn Borg is a Charlton Athletic fan - can't get much better than that can you? One of the greatest tennis players of all time as a fan, a real star, whooda thunk it!

This gave me a bit of inspiration to see what other celebrity Addicks we've got lurking around The Valley - sadly the results weren't quite so glamorous... here's the top 5:

5. Jim Davidson
Hmmm, not a lot to shout about with this one... could be worse though, could be Bernard Manning

Image © G. Bushell
4. Gary Bushell
You'd hope this starts getting better soon really. Could be worse though, could be Jim Davidson... ;)

Image © K. Howman
3. Karl Howman
Those of you over the age of 25 will remember Karl as the Jack the Lad painter Jacko from BBC comedy Brush Strokes. Those of you not approaching a mid-life crisis will know him as the lazy bastard in the Flash adverts

2. Steve Ryder
Who can forget Steve as the anchor of the flagship BBC Sports flagship programme, Granstand? Probably everyone - it was as enjoyable as eating barbed wire and didn't have any sodding sport other than Darts, Horse Racing or Bowls. Rubbish.

Better things are happing for Our Steve now though - he's the face of ITV's F1 coverage. Hopefully he can have a word about those bloody adverts

1. Mrs Trotter
"I didn't know Rodney's middle name was Charlton."
"Yeah it was me Mum. She was a fan."
"Of Charlton Heston?"
"No Charlton Athletic!"

Those lovable Police-dodging Trotters are a national treasure. Forget the knock-off goods, lurid dressing gowns or the Batman and Robin outfits - these are the fine offspring of our Top Addick, Mrs Trotter. With her on board, that makes us practically Royalty!

Advertising Nightmares - Why I Love The Beeb

2007-11-29T07:17:00.000Z

Image © BBC

Adverts are one of the necessary evils of modern television you can't escape these days. Our friends running the multitude of commercial digital channels out there have got clever though. Very clever.

Not content with producing a cacophony of programming claptrap that even the most patient among us would want to chew our own face off to avoid, we're a captive audience for their revenue stream as we desperately channel-hop for televisual salvation. Yes, the conniving bastards all put their adverts on at the same time.

To be fair, in some cases they can actually be quite good - the Carlsberg Pub Football Team, the John West 'bearfight', the iconic Nicole/Papa Clio ads, anything with Kylie in it...

On the flipside, they can be as appealing as rectally ingesting a paving slab.

As it's allegedly therapeutic to share problems amongst others, here's my top ten painful advertising moments:

10. Benecol
Vorderman, you've already told me it will 'reduce' my cholesterol. You don't have to insult my intelligence further by moving your hands together to emphasise the point

9. Head and Shoulders
"Everybody knows a bloke like Mickey". Yes, he's a c**t

8. Gillette/Wilkinson Sword
A never ending game of pathetic one-blade-upmanship. How long before we see the 382-blade razor which vibrates like an Anne Summers rabbit?

7. Any shampoo advert which claims to wash more 'Vitality' into hair
I suppose you scientifically tested that with the 'Vitalityometer'? What the fricking hell does it mean?!?!

6. KFC
Actually, I've got nothing against them at all - it just makes me really, really hungry... :(

5. Howard from The Halifax
Who gives you excrement

4. Terry's Chocolate Orange
"It's not Terry's, it's mine." No shit there Dawn

3. Crazy Frog Ringtones
**** **** **** **** **** ****er

2. Dairy Milk
Gorilla - great, love it. What makes me want to slice my ears off with a crayon is having Phil f**king Collins blasted through my stereo. His sales went UP as a result of this little gem. Damn you Dairy Milk

1. Celeb-fronted 'Secured Loan' ads
Yep, I've bottled naming companies. But I did enjoy this rather humorous quote: "People trust her to be good with numbers so think they're not going to get shafted. It's like Paul McCartney acting as the friendly face of Bernard Matthews"

Seen any more annoying than these? Post them here...

Cut Down By The Blades - Charlton 0, Sheffield Utd 3

2007-11-28T00:17:00.000Z

Charlton's 4-match unbeaten run came to an abrupt end last night at the hands of Bryan Robson's resurgent Sheffield United. An abject home performance by the Addicks was countered by a well-organised team who had clearly done their homework.

Charlton stayed with the same 4-5-1 formation as in recent matches, and started brightly. For the first 20 minutes they gave the visitors the run-around, with Reid and Thomas having freedom to roam around the pitch and control the game. The central defence pairing of Fortune and Sodje that hadn't conceded in over 360 minutes of football looked solid.

Unfortunately, the lack of distinct formation eventually proved costly. After some good attacking play by the Addicks and 2 efforts from Lloyd Sam, it was The Blades who eventually broke the deadlock. Chartlon's defence failed to guard the far post after a high cross from Bardsley, leaving Thomas to clumsily haul down Carney for a clear penalty. Beattie made no mistake from the spot.

The second half saw two changes, Holland suprisingly on for the hard working Semedo and Varney for Lloyd Sam. The home side pressed again but were constantly kept out by tight-marking United. Reid and Thomas never seemed to have the space they needed, appearing to get in each other's way at times. With creativity stifled, the long-ball game re-appeared. This seemed to suit Sheffield United, and they began to grow more comfortable in defence.

Then came 2 turning points which could have swung the game around. Kenny made a fantastic point-blank save after a Danny Mills drive to keep Iwelumo out, followed by Zeng Zhi hitting the crossbar from 8 yards after an excellent centre from Varney.

Charlton's lack of bite in front of goal was punished just 4 minutes later. A scramble in the home penalty area led to Cahill slotting the ball in for a 2-0 lead. Referee Halsey seemed strangely hesitant to give the goal, but it stood and Charlton's task had doubled.

By this time the attacking ideas had all but dried up, route 1 being the only option employed despite clearly being innefective against a solid United defence. Charlton's misery was complete in the final minute after a United break, Chris Armstrong clinically finishing from Beattie's fine pass to wrap up an excellent victory for the away side.

The feeling of a missed opportunity was made worse by the news that Watford had lost 2-1 at home to Burnley. The chance to be 2 points off the top was now lost.

Our next opponents - Burnley. Pardew will have to dust down the tactics and get some beleif back into the squad, as the visitors on Saturday will have the bit between their teeth after an away win against the league leaders.

It Could Be You

2007-11-27T19:47:00.000Z

Image © BBC

Tomorrow lunchtime I'll be making my regular Wednesday purchase, like millions of others across the country. Yep, I'll be picking up my lottery ticket.

I used to be a member of the smug band of people who could claim to be above participating in this bi-weekly idiot tax, but alas, over the last few months I've found myself strangely drawn into the affair.

It's not really the jackpot that keeps me coming back - does anyone even look at how much it is anyway? It could be 50p and a free double-leg amputation and I wouldn't even notice. No, what I come back for is the rush... that brief, pathetic rush of hope entering your brain from the instant the ticket is in your hands. There's the cursory run over the numbers. These look good...

I've already started spending the cash in my head at this point. That dream of never working again, who you're buying cars for, who you're sending a turd giftwrapped in anthrax paper... the possibilities with all that cash are endless. Yet we all completely ignore the fact that the odds of winning are an astronomic 14 million to 1. Someone has to win tho, eh?

Let's consider those odds again for a minute, and look at the betting alternatives out there:

White Christmas: 5/1

Miss Israel for Miss World: 249/1
(sounds like a US bombing capaign)

Frank Lampard for Sports Personality of the Year: 999/1 (Stingiest. Odds. Ever)

Earth getting hit by a comet: 909,000/1

Then there's the bizzare million-to-one real-life events. Consider the story of this poor bugger. The guy managed to fight off and kill a Lion that fancied having him for a spot of lunch. Amazing stuff, a herculean effort. Sadly though, as part of some sick Final Destination style accumulator bet, a pack of Hyenas killed him on the way home. Apparently, the odds of this happening are far less than 14mill/1.

Yet in the face of this we still crave for an even unlikelier lotto win when there's more chance of us becoming part of the Deli counter in the Safari branch of Sainsburys.

We're all convinced our 6 numbers are coming up every week, that it's our turn. So surely after writing this I'll change my mind on Lottery participation?

Sod that, I'm off to get my ticket. I'm feeling lucky.

Shred U Like

2007-11-26T23:36:00.000Z

Paperwork. Everyone hates it, to me its up there on the hideousness scale with being force-fed loft insulation. But as the old adage goes, it has to be done...

My task in question was sorting through a 3-year old pile of bank statements, phone bills, and general marketing wank that I really couldn't care less about, let alone waste a day off on. I'd quite happily chuck it out the window recycle it but we can't now can we. Times have changed.

We are now a nation obsessed with Identity Theft. Everyone's rustling through our bins these days aren't they? You can't so much as throw a birthday card away without worrying about your Gran getting signed up for 15 credit cards and shares in Northern Rock. And if that isn't enough to get you caught up in this, The Government will give you a helping hand by losing your bank details in the post.

Unfortunately, a few years back I was one of those saps unlucky enough to have their debit card fraudulently rung up to the tune of over £300 smackers. I hate myself for admitting this, but since then nothing with my name or address on it leaves the flat without first resembling a New York tickertape parade. Sad I know, but once bitten eh?

This perhaps is where we could start having some fun with sentencing policy. In my case I wouldn't want the culprit to go Her Majesty's Finest for a few years. No Siree. I'd have him/her round here shredding my pile of chuffing paperwork. Every last pigging receipt.

It's a winner isn't it? I don't waste a day of my life, the taxpayer saves on prison costs, and think of the rehabilitation value. There's no way anyone would re-offend after a day of listening to the noise of my shredder. Celine Dion's greatest hits played backwards though a screaming baby seems like a pleasure in comparison.

Think of the fun we could have with these sentences. Burglars could be made to queue in Ikea on a Saturday afternoon for replacement furniture, then work out how the f**k to put it together with no instructions and 3 screws missing. Muggers could be sent to a School Bully Convention with 50p dinner money and 'kick me' tattooed on their forehead. Shoplifters from TK Maxx could be forced to actually wear the merchandise.

You could even televise it, with a text-vote at the end for the thieving dunce you want to stay in for next week's humiliation. I'm on to a winner here aren't I?

Anyway, I digress - back to the shredding... *sob*

Injury Time Agenda - Preston 0, Charlton 2

2007-11-25T23:57:00.000Z

A sterling display from the players yesterday, and a demonstration that we might just be cut out to compete in this league. Even when it gets dirty.

Preston played the physical game I was expecting and hassled us at every opportunity. They must have needed a Pantone colour chart to check the seven shades they kicked out of us, the white round bouncy thing clearly being an afterthought.

The Charlton team appeared to have listened to what Pards said earlier in the season about knowing when to keep things short and tidy and when to play it long. Iwelumo continued his role as an imposing target man whilst Sam and Thomas were constantly fed dangerous balls by Reid, who controlled the game.

Thomas in particular stood out - Preston simply couldn't cope with his trickery and pace. His display came as a surprise to me at a wet and windy Deepdale, and hopefully is a sign that Pards might finally be getting the best out of a gifted player who had up until now failed to show the attitude and fight we need this season.

Charlton's efforts were rewarded in first half injury time. Another run from Thomas and a touch from Iwelumo set up Zheng Zhi on the edge of the box, who cooly struck the ball into the bottom-right corner.

Preston cranked up the pressure in the second half, but despite some fantastic saves by an impressive Weaver, including an excellent point-blank stop, they never really looked like penetrating the defence.

Sodje was claiming everything with his head and Fortune was always on hand to tidy up - one particularly excellent last-man tackle in the first half standing out.

Mills was comfortable on the ball and quite happy to come forward into the attack with Sam on the wing. The only weak link appeared to be Basey, who looked vulnerable at times. However, this was only the fifth game for the Academy product and he will only improve from this experience.

Substitutions from both sides seemed to break up the flow of the match. Charlton's changes included the return of Matt Holland for the hard-working Semedo, Ambrose for Sam, and Varney for Reid.

Preston inflicted lengthy spells of pressure from numerous corners, but Charlton still looked dangerous on the break. This culminated in yet another injury time goal for the Addicks as Iwelumo's second assist fed Varney. The striker's pace was too much for a weary looking defence, and he confidently slotted under the advancing keeper.

So, 12 points from the last 4 matches, 0 conceded, 7 scored - including 6 in injury time! The team is now showing the consistency that's required to earn a promotion spot at this level. However, Tuesday's home tie against Sheffield United will be a real test.

Pie Watch - A poor display from the Deepdale catering crew I'm afraid - the Balti pie was as dry as a Glasgow pub at closing time and had barely been so much as introduced to a chicken. 2/10

Cretin's Day Out

2007-11-24T21:07:00.000Z

Planning has never been one of my finer points, but when faced with the modern day train fare system it's a necessity.

The idea is simple. Assuming you book a ticket 6 months before you're actually born, you can expect a reasonable price. Have the sheer gall to even consider booking with less than 2 weeks to departure and you're presented with inflation levels that make Zimbabwe look like an economic superpower.

Having booked my tickets somewhere around the last Ice Age, I was fine. All I had to do was be at Euston for the 08:38 to Manchester on Saturday morning. Simple.

Things start to go slightly astray though when you factor in the effect of a Pigeon Detectives gig the night before. The musical equivalent of a kebab, it's frankly impossible to watch them without your brain being repeatedly bludgeoned with an alcohol soiled anvil. But in a good way, as they're actually pretty corking live. Top stuff.

Post-gig beers were followed by the general consensus that popping open 2 litres of duty-free vodka for a 3am karaoke session was a 'good idea'. This conclusion was rapidly re-assesed when I woke at 8am, giving me just 38 minutes to catch my train. F**k.

"Not to worry" I thought. I was still wearing the same clothes from last night, which I'd slept in. I smelt like a decomposing badger marinaded in coffee breath, but at least I saved time on a shower. I rapidly slung whatever I could into a rucksack and ran for the tube. Well, I say 'ran' - the pathetic stagger of a crab with meths injected into its eye-sockets and legs tied together is possibly more accurate.

I somehow arrived in Euston at 8:34, my train waiting at the platform - result. This was the train I absolutely had to get on. The train my non-transferrable ticket was booked for. The train I thought I had no hope of catching. So, in a flash of dunce-level genius, I queued for food and missed it.

An Ostrich with it's brains swapped for custard would know food was an idiotic proposition at that moment, but its a comfort to know the bounds of stupidity can always be broken. I missed my train by a minute for a ham sandwich.

Dejected, I went to the ticket office queue to ponder what this cretinous action was going to cost me. Fifty, sixty, a hundred sovs? Body parts? After the horror stories I've heard about replacement train tickets I was expecting to have to fellate the cashier.

It turns out I didn't even need to get half-way through my pitiful excuse when the guy simply stamped my ticket and told me to board the next train. I was stunned.

So, a word of thanks to a very special person in my life right now - I love you, Cashier Number Twelve. xxx

Prediction: Preston 1, Charlton 1

Haute Cuisine

2007-11-23T12:09:00.001Z

Stopping off at a motorway service station can get your brain working in decidedly odd ways. The monotony of driving somehow turns these glorified piss holes into a misguided beacon of salvation, like a tarmac-desert mirage. But shitter.

My moment of weakness at this visit was food. The thought of eating alone in such locations usually gives me the urge to peel my retinas off with a spoon, but for some reason a Whopper meal seemed like the best idea since... well, the last bad one really.

I've nothing against fast food in principle. Hey, some of my best mates are burgers. Why not give it another go? So, meal in hand, I did the same as all other motorists when surrounded by restaurant facilities. I went straight back to the car.

What is it about service stations and food? You spend hours driving in the same seat, desperate to get out, scratching at the windscreen until your fingers melt into mushy blood soaked stumps. Yet within seconds of escape you're back in the car park taking part in some bizarre culinary dogging ritual, your car destined to be tainted with a takeaway smell that would make a tramp's armpit vomit.

Things start so well - the first bite brings back all those fantastic memories... ketchup soaked meat... grill lines lovingly applied with a soldering iron... onions so unnecessarily strong they have a half-life... tender luke-warm fries... Why have I left this so long?

It's only when you finish that reality kicks in like a depressing post-coital tristesse. Shame, guilt, anxiety....You turn your back on the grease-soaked crumpled paper bag, wishing it won't be staring lovingly at you in the morning. You desperately plan ways to get it out of the car without your mates noticing. How did you get yourself into this mess?

Not to worry though - there's always the half-time pies at Preston to look forward to tomorrow...

From Russia With Love

2007-11-22T01:05:00.000Z

Well, at least there was one happy Englishman coming away from the game last night. Not only did I avoid swapping sandwiches for a helping of humble pie after yesterday's prediction, a sly pre-match trip to the bookies with 3 squid on the Boys from Bilic bagged me nineteen chuffing pounds fifty for the bargain!

Yep, I owe you one Barwick - you and the rest of the jokers in the Soho Square blazer brigade have got me in the money in a big way. I'm gonna live like a king next summer on nineteen and a half smackers. Who needs the Euros anyway?

In fact, I'm positively looking forward to the World Cup qualifiers after this evening's masterclass. A blissfully negative 4-5-1 at home displayed tactical nous from a mind shallower than a retarded amoeba. We had those tablecloth merchants bricking it, eh? Another corking display of ineptitude from our 'Golden Generation', I almost fell off my chair when 2 Croatians waltzed the ball past 6 'players' to go 2-nil up. Seems only Crouch, Richards and Beckham were disobeying orders by appearing to actually play some football.

So, with McClaren looking forward to Giro day, what clueless cretin are you planning to put in place so I can make a killing next time?

One piece of advice Bozza, though I'm sure you're clever enough to know this already - next time the FA spunk £757 million on a stadium with a retractable roof, any chance of getting one that actually covers the sodding pitch?

Mystic McClaren

2007-11-21T00:15:00.001Z

Not as daft as we think he is eh? Who could have predicted the results over the weekend - Israel putting one over the Ruskies and Macedonia upsetting everyone's favourite tablecloth wearers, Croatia. Steve McClaren, that's who.

Yep, the man who emerged from his FA interviews with barely a thread in his trouser knees could teach Russell Grant a thing or two about predictions. Sod guessing tonight's team sheet, I'm having a bash at his lottery numbers.

So, what will happen tonight then? My gut feeling - I reckon Croatia will come away with the spoils. Despite sporting a kit more likely to strike fear in the heart of picnic baskets than the opposition, they're no mugs. Bilic is as cooler than a monkey's nuts in an ice age, plus there's the all important fact - they've already qualified. Walk in the park for them. Nothing to play for, and thanks to the back-page hype they can't wait to stuff us.

In contrast, I've just seen Gerrard's interview on Sky Sports News. Paula Radcliff's infamous televised convenience break has nothing on this - he's shitting it! If this is the captain, what chance have we got?

Early reports suggest a back-four of Richards, Campbell, Lescott and Bridge. I'd put a mortgage on Richards having a blinder, but the other 3? I fancy Kranjcar and Eduardo to run rings round that lot.

If Gerrard's worried about playing in front of that defence, I wouldn't dust off your passports for 2008 just yet...

Prediction: England 0, Croatia 1

So where's my £900 Darling?

2007-11-20T13:54:00.000Z

I'm feeling a bit lighter in the wallet today - if you believe the latest reports on the Northern Rock saga, the Government have lent in the region of £24 billion to the beleaguered bank.

Small potatoes eh? These figures must flow around the money markets every day. Give the boys a cash injection and everything will sort itself out. Bank back in the black, no more feeding cups of tea to customers like an upmarket soup kitchen, and the housing pyramid scheme gets back on the up.

It’s not until you look deeper into the gravity of the situation that you start to worry. The loan to Northern Rock is provided by the Treasury, which is taxpayer’s money. That’s you and me (assuming you’re also being shafted by the IR on a regular basis).

Now, I’m all for lending my mates a few quid here and there. I’ve even been bailed out by the folks when I ran out of cash for beans. But get this – that £24 billion equates to each of us lending Northern Rock £900. Yes, £900 smackers. Each.

That plasma telly, Charlton season ticket, the trip to the Maldives… ok, more likely the monthly beer fund… is currently tied up in NR’s coffers. Strangely enough, I’m not angry. Mildly peeved, but I’ve had worse days. Surely we should be livid, losing £900 each? Marching on Parliament and all that?

Yet I feel strangely apathetic and happy to sit by and watch my hard-earned cash be poured away by a series of poor decisions beyond my control. Squandered, never to be seen again. Perhaps, I wonder, if it’s the feeling of familiarity causing this feeble defeatism.

After all, it wouldn’t be the first person I’ve called Darling that’s cost me £900…

One From The Training Ground

2007-11-19T21:44:00.000Z

What a cracker that third goal was last week eh? Zheng Zhi with his head of all things. "Nothing like a spot of luck from a free kick" I thought while traveling back from SE7. That was until I got some insider info the other day - ZZ's blinder was a rehearsed set piece!

Nope, not a typo or deluded info from the bloke at the pub who's dog's aunt's mother's brother is the postman at Sparrow's Lane - this is from the brains of Pard's himself.

Saturday's stadium tour at The Valley revealed a few interesting nuggets in the changing rooms, and I don't mean the Gent's after a visit from Reidy. No Siree. In between the magnetic pitch whiteboard and a flip chart with enough spelling mistakes to put myself to shame, I stumbled upon the Set Pieces boards. Yep, this was one from the training ground folks - who'da thought we did tactics in the fizzies?

"Attacking Wide Free Kick Left" - Thomas peels off behind the wall, McIwelumo and Sodje attack the centre, leaving ZZ room to spare at the back post to crack one in. You wouldn't believe it but they only chuffing well pulled it off.

I left with a warm, confident glow - I know what Reidy's up to when he's holding an arm up from a left-side free kick. I know why Fortune's only up there for corners. I can even confirm Thomas does some work off the ball that doesn't involve 20 step-overs.

The one explaining Lloyd Sam's desire to put the local mole population in danger at corner kicks was strangely absent, but I guess you can't give all the secrets away eh Pards? ;)