It Could Be You

Image © BBC

Tomorrow lunchtime I'll be making my regular Wednesday purchase, like millions of others across the country. Yep, I'll be picking up my lottery ticket.

I used to be a member of the smug band of people who could claim to be above participating in this bi-weekly idiot tax, but alas, over the last few months I've found myself strangely drawn into the affair.

It's not really the jackpot that keeps me coming back - does anyone even look at how much it is anyway? It could be 50p and a free double-leg amputation and I wouldn't even notice. No, what I come back for is the rush... that brief, pathetic rush of hope entering your brain from the instant the ticket is in your hands. There's the cursory run over the numbers. These look good...

I've already started spending the cash in my head at this point. That dream of never working again, who you're buying cars for, who you're sending a turd giftwrapped in anthrax paper... the possibilities with all that cash are endless. Yet we all completely ignore the fact that the odds of winning are an astronomic 14 million to 1. Someone has to win tho, eh?

Let's consider those odds again for a minute, and look at the betting alternatives out there:

• White Christmas: 5/1


• Miss Israel for Miss World: 249/1
  (sounds like a US bombing capaign)


• Frank Lampard for Sports Personality of the Year: 999/1 (Stingiest. Odds. Ever)


• Earth getting hit by a comet: 909,000/1

Then there's the bizzare million-to-one real-life events. Consider the story of this poor bugger. The guy managed to fight off and kill a Lion that fancied having him for a spot of lunch. Amazing stuff, a herculean effort. Sadly though, as part of some sick Final Destination style accumulator bet, a pack of Hyenas killed him on the way home. Apparently, the odds of this happening are far less than 14mill/1.

Yet in the face of this we still crave for an even unlikelier lotto win when there's more chance of us becoming part of the Deli counter in the Safari branch of Sainsburys.

We're all convinced our 6 numbers are coming up every week, that it's our turn. So surely after writing this I'll change my mind on Lottery participation?

Sod that, I'm off to get my ticket. I'm feeling lucky.