2 Weeks To Go...

I've always been a bit on the unorganised side – I generally live by the rule that if something can be left until tomorrow, I'll do it in a fortnight. After all, what's the rush for anything these days? There's enough stress around, live a little.

Unfortunately, the same doesn't ring true around this time of year. That Christmas thing everyone goes bonkers over these days strikes fear into the heart of every lazy sod like me.

It means we have to go shopping. At the busiest time of year.

The crowds, the despair, the 'out of stock' signs, the frustrated parents... Christmas shopping is up there on the fun stakes with teabagging a deep fat fryer. How anyone can enjoy this archaic annual event is surely beyond help. It's almost as if the process is designed to make us want to ritually commit suicide en-mass as part of an absurd religious cult. (Hmmm...)

Not to fear though, I have a trump card out of my shopping nightmare – the Interweb. Yep, as sceptical as you may be of modern technology, you simply can't beat it for Christmas. Whereas half an hour in Oxford Street would result in me murdering people with a spoon, arm me with a credit card and a laptop and I'm sorted.

There is of course the upside to this time of year – that bastion of free booze, the office Christmas Party. They're fantastic aren't they – in the space of a few hours you can get yourself fed, wasted, sacked, promoted, sacked again, snog someone you've sat next to for 3 years and never spoke to... cracking stuff, and I love it.

It's the annual gameshow I call Wheel of F*ckwit. All the opportunities for life-changing events are available at the spin of a champagne bottle, neatly packaged in your own personalised reality TV show.

There's even the 'results' programme the following day as the office collectively attempts to assemble the 1,000 piece jigsaw of debauchery. If you can somehow get out of this one without an ounce of self-loathing shame, you've obviously not tried hard enough the night before.

But let's not forget about what this time of year is about – the all important day of the festive season dear to so many of us. The one day when you can sit down in the company of like-minded individuals, relax, have a beer, and forget about all your frustrations.

It's Boxing Day when Charlton play away at Norwich. I can't wait!