Dodgy Weather?

Image © BBC

It's happed to all of us hasn't it - you take a peek out of the window, decide the brolly can stay at home, get down the road and it pisses it down.

You arrive at your destination a soggy, miserable wretch, cursing your lack of foresight for not checking the weather report on the telly. But even that doesn't always help.

TV weather reporting has a history of presentational one-upmanship, from glitzy 3D graphics to even more glamourous presenters. And Michael Fish. The goal of the programme is to inform, but it it really giving us what we need?

The terminology used is baffling to the average man in the street. Ask him to explain the point of Isobars, what happens when a cold and warm front meet, what wind speed registers as gale force compared to a light breeze, how you measure 1mm of rain... Chances are you'll get an expression blanker than a cheque for a Government IT project.

With the thirst for over the top graphics and information overload, TV weather has lost the meaning of why it exists in the first place - people simply want to know what they can wear today.

They don't care about high and low pressure. They care even less about wind patterns over the North Sea. Lucy from Stevenage just wants to know if she can wear her crop-top today or if packing a dinghy and a life jacket would be a more sensible option.

I have a simple suggestion for how we can make the weather reports more relevant to the audience - make the presenters dress up in what people can wear that day.

It would be ace wouldn't it? No need to worry about what to wear - just look at the bloke or bird on the screen! They can even quick-change outfits in a 'velcro meets Bucks-Fizz' blaze during the report for morning, noon and night. Fantastic!

Think of the opportunities for the TV companies as well - no need to find someone with Met Office training and good looks and a semblance of a personality. They only need to tell the presenters how much to wear. Fashion houses could even sponsor the outfits - a weather programme could actually make money!

Someone get me Mark Thompson's number, I think I'm on to something here...